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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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Being a good
member
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 of
society
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 can mean different things to different
people
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.
This
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 since,
there
Correct word choice
because there
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 is no strict definition of a ‘good
member
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 of
society
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‘ and some might have higher or lower standards of the same for a number of reasons.
Children
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 tend to pick up and learn concepts extremely fast and for the primitive years of their lives, their
parents
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 are the ones teaching them basic life skills all the way from talking and walking to eating. Some of these are not physically ‘taught’ per
say
Correct the spelling
se
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 but rather, picked up by copying or mirroring their
parents
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.
Hence
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,
parents
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 might not have to literally teach their
children
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 how to be nice, good members of
society
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 but rather, be admirable
people
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 themselves which shows
children
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 that, it’s just a normal decent thing to be ‘good members of
society
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’ and they don’t have to put in
effort
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the effort
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 or have it be an inconvenience thinking about how to be good.
On the contrary
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,
children
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 will be
children
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 and
hence
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 they might take time and effort
understanding
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to understand
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 the difference between good and bad and why
that is
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 the case. All
parents
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 might not have the time and energy to always be correcting their
children
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 which leads to the thought of
school
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. After a certain age, all
children
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 spend the majority of their days in
school
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 surrounded by students similar to them.
This
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 is when
parents
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 cannot control and correct everything they do.
This
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 is when some
people
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 believe that
school
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 is the place in which
children
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 should be thought to be good members of
society
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. Being surrounded by a lot of
people
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 would be a good opportunity to teach the
children
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 how to act in
functioning
Correct article usage
a functioning
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society
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 which would of course be different to if they were in their own homes in familiar situations.
Overall
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, in my opinion, I think that being a good
member
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 of
society
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 should not just be taught but rather integrated
in
Change the preposition
into
with
show examples
children
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’s lives both in
school
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 and at home. It is important not to isolate
school
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 and home to different behaviours and terms of what is acceptable as
,
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apply
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 being a good
member
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 of
society
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 has to stem from inside. To be a good
member
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 it is not only about what happens in the outside world but
also
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 behind closed doors. Teaching in both places would help them understand the importance of it and how it impacts
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
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 lives
as well as
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 their own.
Submitted by z.pfister on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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