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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given scheme demonstrates the average temperatures during the year in the three cities, namely,
Paris
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,
Sydney
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 and
Dubai
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
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 the hottest city among the three given was
Dubai
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Paris
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 and
Sydney
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temperature
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 was unstable throughout the observed timeline. In January, the
temperature
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 in
Paris
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 was the coldest, which accounted for 5
degrees
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Celsius
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 and was almost one-fifth of the
temperature
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 that was observed in
Sydney
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. By May, the figure that indicated the
temperature
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 in
Paris
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 had increased substantially,
whereas
Linking Words
 the data that
demonstarted
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 the
temperature
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 in
Sydney
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 declined considerably,
however
Linking Words
, in May these figures equalized and the
temperature
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 in these areas was the same, specifically, 15
degrees
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Celsius
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. Regarding the climate in
Dubai
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, the hottest month was August and the
temperature
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 there reached its peak at just over 35
degrees
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Celsius
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, which was approximately two times as much as the
temperature
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 in
Paris
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 and about 3 times as much as the
temperature
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 in
Sydney
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 during the same month. By the end of the observed timeline, namely, by December there were similar patterns concerning the temperatures in
Dubai
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 and
Sydney
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, which constituted about 24
degrees
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Celsius
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 each.
Submitted by karolinavash2552 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words paris, sydney, dubai, temperature, degrees, celsius with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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