IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Is learning to speak a foreign language as important these days as it was in the past? Write an essay giving your opinion.

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In the contemporary
world
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, it is highly debated whether bilingual speaker possesses the equivalent importance as they did back in the day. Here, I totally dispute
this
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 assertion and advocate that the new era of enormous social and technological development has significantly consolidated the urgent need for non-native
language
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 communication.
To begin
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 with, human life in the 21st century has considerably immersed itself in an interconnected and technology-driven
world
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.
As a result
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, people are required to possess more valuable knowledge in a particular field in conjunction with a decent ability to speak a second
language
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 in order to enhance their personal careers or work for prestigious corporations. By communicating in a popular
language
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such
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 as English, employees could be taken in by the reputative company with a role to negotiate with an overseas partner.
For instance
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, a top-tier conglomerate in Vietnam, namely Vin Group, has gained respectable success through a proper policy that prioritizes employees with superior diplomacy know-how and incentivizes high-salary positions with the purpose of efficiently collapsing abroad
along with
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 applying the latest foreign technology to ameliorate the company manner.
Moreover
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, apart from the chance of
further
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 job opportunities or advancing in a career, learning to speak a non-native
language
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 could
also
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 endow people with an insight into other cultures, thereby not only gaining confidence to travel across the
world
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 but
also
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 obtaining a global perspective toward underlying problems and jointly taking into consideration the needed solutions for the effects. A prime example can be seen in the education systems of some developed countries, where students study the global citizenship subject, representing their project regarding a specific issue and putting forward feasible methods. In conclusion, bilingualism in
this
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 day and age indicates greater significance compared to the social situation in the old days. The aforementioned statement is substantiated by the occupation opportunity in an immense company to actualize worldwide connection, assimilate the progress of technology, and the paranormal view of the
world
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 circumstance to together devise the appropriate remedy.

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Clarity and coherence
The essay could have better clarity and coherence by reducing the complexity of language used. There is an overuse of complex and verbose language which hinders easy understanding.
Grammatical range and accuracy
There are some grammatical errors and incorrect word usage. For example, in 'efficiently collapsing abroad' and 'paranormal view of the world circumstance', the words 'collapsing' and 'paranormal' are not used appropriately. Work on grammatical accuracy and range.
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