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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that we should not be so dependent on computers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers
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Some people suggest that the trend of wide usage of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be discouraged based on various drawbacks caused, I could partially agree with
such
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 opinions since the merits of using modern technologies should not be overlooked. On the one hand, the opponents
are argue
Change the verb form
argue
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 that high dependence on
computers
Use synonyms
 could
cause
Verb problem
have
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 negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
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 the younger generation regarding their capacity
of
Change preposition
for
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 problem-solving since youth
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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tend to
searching
Wrong verb form
search for
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answer
Correct subject-verb agreement
answers
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 directly on the internet
instead
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 of discussing with peers or collecting information from different
materious
Correct your spelling
materials
.
Moreover
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,
comandary
Correct word choice
the compulsory
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 use of typing for note taking could lead to the lack of practice in handwriting,
for instance
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, many university students in Taiwan nowadays are unable to write words correctly because they are used to typing on electrical devices.
On the other hand
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, in my perspective, the influence of
computers
Use synonyms
 in societies will continue to grow in the future since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 play essential roles in many aspects. First of all, it
enhance
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enhances
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 the efficiency
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 communication around the world. Employees nowadays
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 receive
responds
Replace the word
responses
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 from parties in different regions in
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 period
time
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of time
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, which stimulates globalization.
Secondly
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, it allows humans
focus
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to focus
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 on solving crucial problems and leave repetitive tasks to modern technologies.
For example
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,
computers
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 are largely being used for calculation and data organisation, saving more time for researchers to make progress for their subjects. To summarize, I can only partially agree with the suggestions that individuals should reduce
the
Change the word
their
show examples
dependent
Replace the word
dependence
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 on
computers
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due to
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 several drawbacks in the younger generation, considering that
computers
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 play crucial roles
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
prompt
Verb problem
promoting
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 a convenient and efficient society.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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