IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Education should be free to all people and should be paid for and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The
education
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 sector is one of the commonly discussed areas in society.
While
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 some contend that managing and investing in
education
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 must be provided by the government, I partially agree with
this
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 point of view. In my essay, I will explore why I cannot accept
this
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 idea as it is totally true. On the one hand, a high literacy rate of its citizens is what many governments want. For
this
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 matter, school
education
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 should be paid for and controlled by governments in many parts of the world, which I firmly feel is reasonable. Primary and secondary schools are the initial part of every child to get not only basic knowledge in intrinsic subjects of the school curriculum but
also
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 fundamental qualities and social skills in life.
For instance
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, if the government does not be responsible for
this
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 case,
this
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 can lead to a high crime rate among adolescents.
On the other hand
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, providing free tertiary
education
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 for its young generations requires a big budget, which all countries do not have.
Thus
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, the government must not be the only source for covering tuition fees or other expenses for studying.
Moreover
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, all adults, who are about to finish school, do not want to continue their studies. In fact, they prefer other ways of life to go for
such
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 as running their own businesses, or casual work-life in their desired fields to help with their families’ livings or do not have talent in any subjects at all.
Therefore
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, supplying primary and secondary
education
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 at no charge to its population is enough for countries in my opinion. In conclusion, even if providing free
education
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 to its population in a country seems to have some advantages, I would argue that it is not the best way for both countries and children
due to
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 the requirement of a large amount of money and personal matters of children

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Language Use
Try to use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your argument and make your essay more engaging.
Task Achievement
Consider further development of your examples to make them more specific and impactful, which can strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Explore both sides of the argument thoroughly, but also ensure to clearly state your own position throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, for a more persuasive essay.
Language Use
Pay attention to punctuation and minor grammatical errors, as refining these can make your writing clearer and more professional.
Coherence & Cohesion
You structured your essay logically, with clear paragraphs for introduction, supporting arguments, and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion were properly delineated, providing a concise thesis and summarizing the main points effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay responded completely to the task's requirements, addressing the prompt with clear ideas and relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic background
  • meritocracy
  • social equity
  • highly-skilled workforce
  • economic growth
  • financial strain
  • budget allocation
  • overcrowded classrooms
  • educational materials
  • specialized fields
  • tuition costs
  • oversaturation
  • degree holders
  • job opportunities
  • graduate unemployment
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