IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In recent years, It has been widely believed that information should be shared publicly,
while
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 others have thought that it is
such
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 major information to be kept private. From my perspective, I agree with the latter. On the one hand, many materials play a crucial role for students and workers, as most of them are ideal examples in their essays or reports.
For instance
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, more than 90% of research at universities needs examples or experiments from scientific research.
Moreover
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, reading and listening to scientific or political news is a great way to expand citizens’ knowledge. Since the number of elderly is growing, the only way for them to update is by watching news and scientific shows.
Hence
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,
this
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 is a good resource for people so as to improve their knowledge of a variety of subjects.
On the other hand
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, I assume that most details should be protected from the public’s eyes. Especially, it is essential to keep the confidential documents of the country in the safest way because it will affect the development and safety of the territory.
For example
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, the amount of nuclear power that a country is holding.
Besides
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, the structure of products in companies is top-secret indeed
such
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 as software, marketing plans, and so on.
Therefore
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, several special materials had better in order to stay away from the public.
To sum up
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, it is assumed that there should be more widespread information
due to
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 better task achievement and understanding of the situation of the country.
Nevertheless
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, I supposed that some databases should be kept privately
due to
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 national and business secrets.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the purpose of the essay, the body paragraphs should each address a single point in support of your argument, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your points and restate your overall opinion, all of which should be done with clear and precise language.
task achievement
Be sure to directly address the essay prompt. Both sides of the argument should be presented fairly and with equal development. Conclude with a well-supported opinion. Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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