Crime rates will fall is advance in technology, make it easier to detect and prevent crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today, improving cutting-edge technologies criminal actions will be reduced because it helps authorities to find criminal
activities
more easily. This
essay agrees that the technology improvement will decline criminal rates since the dependency on human decisions will be dropped and physical assets
will be altered to digital ones.
First of all, for detecting the crime source humans have been dependent on their natural ability to decide which could lead them to wrong decisions. By improving the new types of gadgets, these new machines have been learned based on mathematical algorithms about criminals' activities
so that they can predict crime more accurately and more trustworthy than authorities. As a result
, criminals before taking action, will be detected and the crime rate will decline dramatically. For instance
, emerging AI in 2022 has provided an environment for police stations to detect robbers before taking any activities
.
Second of all, the digital atmosphere has changed the shape of people's assets
. These days the vast majority of individuals can exchange their valuable things with digital assets
such
as Bitcoins. So, by doing this
, not only their dependency on their physical money will be reduced but also
they can keep their assets
in secure places which are protected by encrypted security codes. As a consequence
, criminals not only can not rob physical things from people but also
they have to challenge machines that are one step ahead of them. For example
, NFTs have been created to protect artists from the copywrite and it has reduced the copywrite rate by more than 80% since 2021.
In conclusion, this
essay agrees that enhancing technology will reduce the rate of criminal activities
by helping humans to have more trust in machines to detect robbers due to
they can make more trustable decisions in comparison to humans. Also
, by changing the physical assets
to digital people's money will be protected in a more secure way than before.Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument. However, to improve coherence, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
While your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, there are a few instances where clarifications could enhance your arguments. For example, you can provide more detailed explanations of how digital assets are inherently more secure.
task achievement
To achieve higher scores, try to refine your vocabulary and grammar. There are minor errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'Copywrite' instead of 'copyright', and 'environment for police stations to detect robbers' which could be more effectively expressed.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing both a clear stance and supporting arguments.
task achievement
Good examples are used to illustrate your points, such as the use of AI in police work and the creation of NFTs to protect digital assets.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically organized with a strong introduction that sets the stage, and a conclusion that reiterates your key points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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