Some people believe that after a child enters school their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extend do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The workers under the education system have been doubted by some categories of the population that they have the potential to change citizens' offspring’s behaviour in both merits and demerits,
Hence
Linking Words
, In my perspective, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, admittedly, the behaviour of people changes when they attend school because
this
Linking Words
place will give something to users,
moreover
Linking Words
, users will be changed their actions for survival. To illustrate
further
Linking Words
, bad younger who don’t care about anyone will be intensively taught by their teacher leading to improving their mindset in the foreseeable future.
In addition
Linking Words
, teachers have the potential to give their knowledge, experience and mistakes to students.
As a result
Linking Words
, these people possess abilities to live in a more competitive world.
However
Linking Words
, despite teachers who have an opportunity to impact students, the environment of the education system has effects
also
Linking Words
. It is widely spread by everyone that teaching organization is paramount to society,
besides
Linking Words
, some land improved for the developed region are depend on
this
Linking Words
structure.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it can have bad effects on users.
For example
Linking Words
, emerging regions where more competitive and intensive learning will pressure their citizens.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, the ones who live under
this
Linking Words
solution are stressed causing some diseases and they may become an introverted person in the future.
In addition
Linking Words
, their friends are influenced by them
also
Linking Words
.
To conclude
Linking Words
. Students are not only affected by their educators but the environment has the potential to edit.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in some countries, teaching organization is imperative to child behaviour more than both tutor and parent.
Submitted by amittawin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Work on sentence structure to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider developing your paragraphs more evenly by dedicating equal attention to each part of your argument.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the topic with a clear stance in your introduction.
Task Achievement
You provided concrete examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: