Some people believe that after a child enters school their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #child #school #teachers #influence #parents

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The workers under the education system have been doubted by some categories of the population that they have the potential to change citizens' offspring’s behaviour in both merits and demerits,

Hence

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, In my perspective, I partially agree with

this

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view.

Firstly

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, admittedly, the behaviour of people changes when they attend school because

this

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place will give something to users,

moreover

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, users will be changed their actions for survival. To illustrate

further

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, bad younger who don’t care about anyone will be intensively taught by their teacher leading to improving their mindset in the foreseeable future.

In addition

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, teachers have the potential to give their knowledge, experience and mistakes to students.

As a result

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, these people possess abilities to live in a more competitive world.

However

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, despite teachers who have an opportunity to impact students, the environment of the education system has effects

also

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. It is widely spread by everyone that teaching organization is paramount to society,

besides

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, some land improved for the developed region are depend on

this

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structure.

Nevertheless

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, it can have bad effects on users.

For example

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, emerging regions where more competitive and intensive learning will pressure their citizens.

For

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this

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reason, the ones who live under

this

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solution are stressed causing some diseases and they may become an introverted person in the future.

In addition

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, their friends are influenced by them

also

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To conclude

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. Students are not only affected by their educators but the environment has the potential to edit.

Additionally

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, in some countries, teaching organization is imperative to child behaviour more than both tutor and parent.

Submitted by amittawin on Fri Sep 29 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on sentence structure to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider developing your paragraphs more evenly by dedicating equal attention to each part of your argument.

Task Achievement

You effectively addressed the topic with a clear stance in your introduction.

Task Achievement

You provided concrete examples to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good use of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Some people believe that after a child enters school their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the goverment, while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Using the information given in the case notes, write a discharge letter to Ms Georgine Ponsford, Resident Community Nurse at the Community Retirement Home, 103 Light Street, Newtown. This letter will accompany Mr Ramamurthy back to the retirement home upon his discharge tomorrow.