Some people believe that after a child enters school their teachers will have more influence than their parents. To what extend do you agree or disagree
The workers under the education system have been doubted by some categories of the population that they have the potential to change citizens' offspring’s behaviour in both merits and demerits,
Hence
, In my perspective, I partially agree with Linking Words
this
view.
Linking Words
Firstly
, admittedly, the behaviour of people changes when they attend school because Linking Words
this
place will give something to users, Linking Words
moreover
, users will be changed their actions for survival. To illustrate Linking Words
further
, bad younger who don’t care about anyone will be intensively taught by their teacher leading to improving their mindset in the foreseeable future. Linking Words
In addition
, teachers have the potential to give their knowledge, experience and mistakes to students. Linking Words
As a result
, these people possess abilities to live in a more competitive world.
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However
, despite teachers who have an opportunity to impact students, the environment of the education system has effects Linking Words
also
. It is widely spread by everyone that teaching organization is paramount to society, Linking Words
besides
, some land improved for the developed region are depend on Linking Words
this
structure. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, it can have bad effects on users. Linking Words
For example
, emerging regions where more competitive and intensive learning will pressure their citizens. Linking Words
For
Linking Words
this
reason, the ones who live under Linking Words
this
solution are stressed causing some diseases and they may become an introverted person in the future. Linking Words
In addition
, their friends are influenced by them Linking Words
also
.
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To conclude
. Students are not only affected by their educators but the environment has the potential to edit. Linking Words
Additionally
, in some countries, teaching organization is imperative to child behaviour more than both tutor and parent.Linking Words
Submitted by amittawin on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on sentence structure to enhance clarity.
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Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider developing your paragraphs more evenly by dedicating equal attention to each part of your argument.
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You effectively addressed the topic with a clear stance in your introduction.
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Coherence and Cohesion
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