Many people think that dangerous extreme sports like rock-climbing and sky-diviing should have danned? Do you agree or disagree?

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These days, many

people

Use synonyms

believe that rock climbing and sky-diving are risky for

people

Use synonyms

's lives. In today's essay, I'm going to shed light on why it would be dangerous for us. On the one hand, in developing the world there are becoming more popular extreme sports like rock-climbing and sky-diving

people

Use synonyms

sometimes have bad results in the end.

For instance

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, in these big ,programs nobody cannot guarantee us well-provided equipment during movement. ,

Also

Linking Words

they try to convince it is safe for

people

Use synonyms

who want to attempt it. We do not have to believe in the raw materials or put our lives in danger.

In addition

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, there may be

also

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another bad consequence like we may face a heart attack during the action, not because it is the first time but because you may have a problem with your heart .

On the other hand

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, let me take an example by looking at another negative result. 21st century technology is developing like never so when we perform

this

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action in social media millions of followers may be interested in it,

then

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without enough ,experience many

people

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will put their lives in danger. The consequence may be death. So before doing

this

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type of activity we should join it alone and do it just ourselves not encourage others. In conclusion, want it or not many

people

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have a tendency to do dangerous activities but they should consider what consequences will face . As far as I know lots of performances like

this

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end with dab results.

Submitted by Mr. Big on Fri Sep 29 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Many people think that dangerous extreme sports like rock-climbing and sky-diviing should have danned? Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

Governments investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement.