IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Even when poor countries get help from rich countries, hunger is still an issue. Discuss probable causes and solutions. support your answer with specific reason and example.

Starvation is one of the problems faced by underdeveloped countries
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 though they are receiving assistance from developed nations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will focus on the reasons for the above notion and the ways to tackle
this
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 issue. To embark on, the first and foremost reason for famine in poor nations is increased population. To be more precise
when
Punctuation problem
, when
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 there is a high number of
people
Punctuation problem
people,
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 there will be a significant number of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
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,
Check wording
people, thus
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thus
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 they will not be able to manage their livelihood.
For instance
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,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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India
Punctuation problem
India,
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 30% of young people have no job
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according
Punctuation problem
, according
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 to the report of the UN, it is because of fewer opportunities
due to
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 the increased number of individuals.
In addition
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, dwindling interest in agriculture
also
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 leads
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this problem to
Correct word order
to this problem
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worse
Replace the word
worsening
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due to
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 the less support from the government,
hence
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, they face great challenges in meeting
huge
Correct article usage
the huge
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 expenses needed for crop cultivation.
However
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, if the government implements strict laws regarding birth control,
this
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 problem can be tackled to an extent.
In addition
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 to the rules, they should support the public by providing adequate awareness of family planning in their own languages, where Hindi is the national language
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it may not be possible for everyone to understand the brochure or speech in Hindi
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therefore
Punctuation problem
; therefore
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, make them easily understandable.
Also
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, authorities should provide subsidies to the agricultural field,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will attract individuals to be involved
due to
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this
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 financial help,
thus
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 hunger can be controlled. To recapitulate, overpopulation and
Correct article usage
a declined
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declined
Replace the word
decline
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interest
Change preposition
in interest
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 in cultivation are the main reasons for starvation in poor countries
,
Punctuation problem
;
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this
Linking Words
 can be managed by effective birth control and economic help
authorities
Change preposition
from authorities
show examples
.

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grammar
Watch grammar and marks. Use simple, clear sentences.
cohesion
Link ideas with small words like first, next, and finally.
content
Give more exact detail and a real fact for each point.
structure
Check punctuation and use short lines to make ideas easy to read.
task
End with a short, clear sum up of your view.
structure
The plan is clear with a start, a body, and an end.
content
You show the topic and give a plan to fix hunger.
content
An example from a real country is used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Infrastructure
  • 2. Corruption
  • 3. Logistical challenges
  • 4. Agricultural practices
  • 5. Sustainable farming
  • 6. Environmental factors
  • 7. Climate change
  • 8. Political instability
  • 9. Civil unrest
  • 10. Food shortages
  • 11. Dependency
  • 12. Resource management
  • 13. Distribution networks
  • 14. Crop diversification
  • 15. Disaster preparedness
  • 16. Early warning systems
  • 17. Political stability
  • 18. Peace treaties
  • 19. Family planning
  • 20. Food security
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