Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Children
always play with their smartphones
every day has become a serious social problem which many parents and teachers are worried about. In my opinion, this
is an absolutely negative situation and it is caused by many reasons.
First of all, according to
the rapid development of technology, smartphones
have been designed more and more attractive. Children
's ability for self-control is not well developed, therefore
, most of them can't reject this
attraction. What's more, many parents are not strict enough to stop their children
from playing on smartphones
, because in general situations, if they do this
, their children
would cry or scream a
very loud voice which makes them can't concentrate on their own things. In the end, they just let their Change preposition
in a
children
do whatever they want to do because they are tired of babysitting them.
This
situation must be changed because it's not good for children
's future development. If they spend too much time
on their smartphones
, they will miss the opportunities to learn other skills such
as teamwork, brainstorming and time
management which are very important to their future. On the other hand
, children
only can gain limited knowledge from smartphones
. They always use their phones to watch videos on many platforms such
as Youtube
, Instagram and they Correct your spelling
YouTube
also
play video games. All of these activities are useless most of the time
, they are just designed to make people feel happy.
In conclusion, parents should take action to limit their children
's screen time
, for both their health and future achievements. It's their responsibility to guide their children
to take more time
to participate in real-life activities such
as doing some exercise, hanging out with friends and learning skills like swimming or dancing. All of them are better than playing on smartphones
all day.Submitted by zhangshen9968 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid over-generalizations, and use more precise language to express your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons behind children spending hours on smartphones with more depth and variety of explanations.
task achievement
Include additional, relevant examples to support your arguments, which can be drawn from your own experience, observations or reading.
task achievement
Fully address both parts of the question: why children spend hours on their smartphones and whether it's a positive or negative development.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite