Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Children

Use synonyms

always play with their

smartphones

Use synonyms

every day has become a serious social problem which many parents and teachers are worried about. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is an absolutely negative situation and it is caused by many reasons. First of all,

according to

Linking Words

the rapid development of technology,

smartphones

Use synonyms

have been designed more and more attractive.

Children

Use synonyms

's ability for self-control is not well developed,

therefore

Linking Words

, most of them can't reject

this

Linking Words

attraction. What's more, many parents are not strict enough to stop their

children

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from playing on

smartphones

Use synonyms

, because in general situations, if they do

this

Linking Words

, their

children

Use synonyms

would cry or scream

Change preposition

in a

show examples

very loud voice which makes them can't concentrate on their own things. In the end, they just let their

children

Use synonyms

do whatever they want to do because they are tired of babysitting them.

This

Linking Words

situation must be changed because it's not good for

children

Use synonyms

's future development. If they spend too much

time

Use synonyms

on their

smartphones

Use synonyms

, they will miss the opportunities to learn other skills

such

Linking Words

as teamwork, brainstorming and

time

Use synonyms

management which are very important to their future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

only can gain limited knowledge from

smartphones

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. They always use their phones to watch videos on many platforms

such

Linking Words

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

, Instagram and they

also

Linking Words

play video games. All of these activities are useless most of the

time

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, they are just designed to make people feel happy. In conclusion, parents should take action to limit their

children

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's screen

time

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, for both their health and future achievements. It's their responsibility to guide their

children

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to take more

time

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to participate in real-life activities

such

Linking Words

as doing some exercise, hanging out with friends and learning skills like swimming or dancing. All of them are better than playing on

smartphones

Use synonyms

all day.

zhangshen9968Wed Feb 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to avoid over-generalizations, and use more precise language to express your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs for better flow.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument without introducing new ideas.

task achievement

Expand on the reasons behind children spending hours on smartphones with more depth and variety of explanations.

task achievement

Include additional, relevant examples to support your arguments, which can be drawn from your own experience, observations or reading.

task achievement

Fully address both parts of the question: why children spend hours on their smartphones and whether it's a positive or negative development.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Demand for gas and oil is increasing, and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?