There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important invention is the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is undeniable that the
Internet
plays a crucial role in modern society, leading many to consider it the greatest invention in human civilization. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that there are other inventions that hold greater significance. I disagree with the notion that the Linking Words
Internet
stands Use synonyms
above all
others.
Linking Words
To begin
, there are some stances that explain why the Linking Words
Internet
is selected by proponents. Use synonyms
Firstly
, the prevalence of the Linking Words
Internet
has changed the way individuals inform information. The population can access knowledge and news from local or foreign sources on the web-based platform. Use synonyms
Hence
, these sources contribute to building a comprehensive landscape about what has been happening rather than listening to biased insights from one side. Financially, audiences can update the global economic status and tendencies through newspapers, which has helped them avoid reserving some outdated stocks, but the merchandise surplus in the foreign market. Linking Words
Secondly
, the Linking Words
Internet
is a foundation of several inventions. Use synonyms
In particular
, the Linking Words
Internet
of Things has been mentioned as the fifth revolutionization in some developed nations, which could enhance the population’s living standards. In general, IoT has been applied in smart home devices and wearable gadgets. Use synonyms
For instance
, a smartwatch now can monitor the owner's health index, particularly in oxygen, heart rate and how many calories are burnt in their physical exercise sessions. Combined with remote healthcare services, these technologies have enhanced patient outcomes and reduced healthcare costs in diagnosing some ailments.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
while
the Linking Words
Internet
is undoubtedly significant, I believe there are other discoveries that hold greater importance. Use synonyms
For example
, the discovery of fire played a pivotal role in human evolution, enabling cooking, warmth, and protection. Admittedly, the invention of vaccines might be the most important one ever before. The discovery mechanism of immunization has improved human immunisation and deterred the spread of some deadly infectious epidemics. Vaccines have saved plenty of human lives in the treatment of some general diseases. These preventive shots have boosted societal welfare and improved the population's longevity.
In conclusion, the Linking Words
Internet
offers invaluable benefits, Use synonyms
such
as access to information and driving technological innovation, but it is not the most important invention in human history. Other breakthroughs, including fire and vaccines, have had a profound and lasting impact on society and human well-being. Linking Words
Therefore
, I disagree with the notion that the Linking Words
Internet
surpasses all other advancements in significance.Use synonyms
Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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coherence cohesion
You have presented a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas could be elaborated further for even greater clarity and impact. For instance, the paragraph on IoT could benefit from more specific examples or detailed explanations of how it revolutionizes daily life.
task achievement
While your task response is generally strong, ensure that your ideas and arguments are fully developed. Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points wherever possible. For example, when discussing the impact of vaccines, you could mention specific diseases that have been eradicated or controlled through vaccination.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which ties up the main arguments neatly.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, showcasing a good understanding of the subject matter.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.