Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do vou agree or disagree with this statement?

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Living in a country that uses a

language

Use synonyms

other than own one, can develop both social and practical issues among people. I completely agree with the given statement and here I will explain it in a more detailed manner.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it's a challenge to live in a foreign state where use a different

language

Use synonyms

other than my mother tongue. Actually,

language

Use synonyms

is the very first and foremost platform to connect with others. People can understand, be aware and may be able to judge someone

according to

Linking Words

their speaking pattern and behaviour. If someone misuses a

language

Use synonyms

, it will be a horrible matter as the listener can develop a different idea than said. These types of matters may lead to war

as well as

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legal matters. As an

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

example there was a lady from Thailand in my working place and she was not fluent not only in Sinhala but

also

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in English.

Therefore

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, She faced many conflicts and ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Linking Words

finally

Add a comma

,finally

show examples

she gave up her career

due to

Linking Words

the

language

Use synonyms

barrier.

Secondly

Linking Words

, misuse of the

language

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can lead to damage to trustworthiness among states

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

. If someone uses a phrase, idiom or anything without proper understanding of the usage, listeners may guide them to serious questions. Around two years back, there was a Sri Lankan hard worker in a Pakistan company for more than a number of years. But,

this

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person had passed a message among co-workers and ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

unfortunately

Add the comma(s)

,unfortunately

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most of them got it in an inappropriate way.

This

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issue led to a greater matter and the guy had to give up his life

finally

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. His buddies hit him in immoral ways until his death.

This

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case spread internationally

also

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To Sum up

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language

Use synonyms

is one main path to interacting with people and living in a country where speaking unfamiliar will be really a challenge. I agree with the given statement completely.

Submitted by laksrijayashan on Fri Sep 29 2023

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Grammar

You need to improve the structure of your sentence. Some phrases were confusing and had to be read twice to understand.

Punctuation

Avoid using multiple punctuation marks,, such as double commas.

Lexical Resource

Improve your vocabulary to avoid word repetition such as 'language', 'lead', 'matter'. You can use synonyms instead.

Content

Ensure the examples provided are relevant and realistic. The second example you provided is quite extreme and may not be credible

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do vou agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

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Many people nowadays don’t feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reasons? What can we do to solve this problem?

People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?