IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many supermarkets are selling more and more products that are imported from other countries instead of selling food that is locally sourced. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Many supermarkets nowadays are selling more imported
products
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instead
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 of domestic
products
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. The
reasons
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 for
this
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 tendency will be mentioned in
this
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 essay and I believe that
this
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 is a negative development. There are various
reasons
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 why many supermarkets are selling more imported
products
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 from other nations.
Firstly
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, imported
products
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 may have a higher quality compared with goods that are locally sourced.
In other words
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, some processed food produced in other countries may have a higher quality
due to
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 their advanced technology in manufacturing.
Furthermore
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, some renowned
products
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such
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 as Coca-Cola or Pepsi would be easier to buy since it is cheaper
as well as
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 their reputation.
Thus
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, buying imported
products
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 may increase their profit in general.
However
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,
this
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 development could be negative for many
reasons
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.
Firstly
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, local businesses would have fewer consumers which affects negatively their income and ability to reinvest in production,
as a result
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 of the financial problems of small domestic businesses.
Furthermore
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, the nation's economy would be more dependent on other countries since they accounted for a large segment of selling
products
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.
This
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 could impact an individual's patriotism since they use more and more imported
products
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 that may be easier to be affected by other cultures.
For example
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, the young generation in Vietnam preferred to buy Coca-Cola
instead
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 of Xa xi (a local soft drink in Vietnam) since they believed that it could be better in quality. In conclusion, there are several mentioned
reasons
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 why many supermarkets have
this
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 tendency,
however
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, it is undeniable that selling more and more
products
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 that are imported from other countries would be a negative development
due to
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 several mentioned clues.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph support that topic. There should be a logical flow of ideas with clear introductory and concluding statements.
Task Achievement
Expand on the key points with more detail in your body paragraphs to fully address all parts of the task. Incorporate a wider range of specific examples and explanations to support your arguments.
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