In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. • What problems is this causing? • What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

More and more people today have come to notice that there are fewer traditional celebrations and cultural festivals in comparison with past centuries. What is the main reason for
this
trend? In my way of thinking, the most important factor is globalization and, in
this
essay, I am going to prove it by several arguments.
To begin
with, it is necessary to understand that today’s world is much more international and mixed-cultural than it was before. On the one hand, a lot of nations annually immigrate and their minds are changed by the pressure of new cultures.
On the other hand
, the population who have arrived in a new country take their traditions with them.
As a result
, some of them are mixed, forgotten and disappear. All of these factors influence society’s experience and
also
transform it into something new or make it insignificant to the nation.
Furthermore
, if we are talking about internalization and globalization, it is
also
should be noticed that these processes are related to lifestyle acceleration. Every year we have less time for meeting with our friends and familiars. Somebody can say: “If we can not find a little time to spend on important for the community, how can we waste it on old-fashioned festivals?” I think that we have to pay less attention to our jobs and try to learn something new about our own histories.
For example
, the government can spend more money on cultural days like “Independence Day” and others, to make them much more popular and increase the interest of new generations. In conclusion, I would like to say that the lack of cultural traditions makes our lives miserable, so, to prevent it, we have to pay attention to our history and keep in mind our roots.
Submitted by me.melnichenko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the main points but lacks depth and clarity in supporting the arguments. It needs to provide more specific examples and fully address all aspects of the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally present, but the development of ideas lacks coherence and cohesion. There is a need for better organization of ideas and linking of arguments to improve overall coherence.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, although there is room for improvement through the use of more varied and precise vocabulary related to the topic.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay that affect the overall clarity of the writing. In order to improve, focus on sentence structure, verb tenses, and accurate word choices.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional festivals
  • heritage
  • cultural identity
  • folklore
  • cultural tourism
  • intergenerational
  • homogenization
  • commercialization
  • intangible cultural heritage
  • community engagement
  • awareness
  • revitalize
  • cultural diversity
  • educational programs
  • governmental support
  • logistical support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: