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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagrams show the life cycle of a species of large
fish
Use synonyms
 called the salmon that lives in the sea. Before
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are born and grow, their salmon eggs are deposited on the river for about 5-6 months. There are
also
Linking Words
 reeds which have the function of protecting eggs from animals, in ,fact they move very slowly. After 4 years, salmon grows enough, their dimensions are about 3-8 cm depending on the
fish
Use synonyms
 and it is called fry
fish
Use synonyms
. They are ready to go in the lower river where we have a fast flowing, here their size is increasing by 12-15 cm and they are called smolt. In conclusion, when they have achieved their maximum dimensions of 70-76 cm can go into the open sea where they find other species of animals,
such
Linking Words
 as tonnes and whales.
For instance
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 species of
fish
Use synonyms
 are more good and they are caught by fishermen with boats.
Submitted by afiorentino404346 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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