The maps show changes that took place in Youngsville in New Zealand over a 25 year period from 1980 to 2005.
The map depicts changes that happened in Youngsville in New Zealand over a
twenty five
year period between 1980 and 2005.
Add a hyphen
twenty-five
Overall
, it is noticeable that in the past city
Correct article usage
the city
obtained
a lack of facilities. Verb problem
had
However
, after 25 years it enlarged and became modernized with more places.
To begin
with park, it was extended which is situated on the north-west side of the city. Therefore
, near lake
introduced more facilities , Correct article usage
the lake
such
as boat
and golf. Another striking change was on the north-east side of the map where houses were removed Fix the agreement mistake
boats
instead
of stadium
. Add an article
the stadium
Furhermore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
second
parking was constructed near the stadium. Correct article usage
a second
However
, railway
station was finished and called Marina.
Add an article
the railway
a railway
Moreover
, on the south of the city factories were erected instead
of trees. In terms of trees and houses on the east-south of the map, they were demolished and skyscrapers were introduced.
With regards to warehouse
, it Add an article
the warehouse
a warehouse
built
Add a missing verb
was built
instead
of trees and others.Submitted by aikumarbekarys on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, instead".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼