IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages shouldn’t be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world, many countries rely heavily on
tourism
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 as a primary source of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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income,
however
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, its drawbacks ought not to be underestimated. I am firmly convinced that
tourism
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 can cause an
imlicit
Correct your spelling
implicit
 threat to
tourist
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 attractions and their environment
as well as
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 economic vulnerability to it. The main reason why I believe that
tourism
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pose
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poses
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 numerous problems is that
ahuge
Correct your spelling
a huge
 influx of
tourists
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 leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution.
This
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 is because
tourists
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 travel by air, road and rail which are the main sources of gas emissions. Not only is air polluted
due to
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 the excessive use of
transports
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transport
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, but
tourists
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also
Linking Words
 litter exotic places and throw disposable
wastes
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waste
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.
As a result
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, the beauty of profit-generating
tourist
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 attractions can be depleted. A primary example of
this
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 is Bali, which is considered to be the most popular and polluted
tourist
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 attraction. Another crucial factor
of
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in
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 taking into consideration
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
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 of
tourism
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 is economic dependence on it. It is highly likely that other forms of
income-generation
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income generation
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 are neglected because of allocating the budget
on
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to
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 flourishing
tourism
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.
However
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, if there is seasonal fluctuation in the number of
tourists
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 or if some areas are deserted because of climate variables, the country will be vulnerable to economic ruin in the long run.
For instance
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, had the
tourist
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 destination called Sri Lanka not had monsoon from May to September, the amount of visitors would not have declined
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 the economy would have been stable. In conclusion, numerous countries are dependent on
tourism
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 because of its revenue but
tourism
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 can represent a threat to
tourist
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 destinations and their environment,
also
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, the economy of countries can be put at risk.
Therefore
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, it is advisable not to undervalue the disadvantages of
tourism
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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