Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Blessings if
describes
Wrong verb form
described
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in other words
are the elderly persons living with a family. With the torrid pace of
time
Add a comma
,time
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the assertion of some people is that growing each day towards seniority has bad circumstances
whereas
others do believe that with the passage of
time
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,time
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it has now changed in
positive
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a positive
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manner. I strongly
belief
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believe
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that the future
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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now
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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more
favorable
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favourable
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conditions for
seniors
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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will
be
Change the verb form
be further discussed
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further
discuss in
essay
Add an article
the essay
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below Admittedly, the past has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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bad
stories
Correct the article-noun agreement
story
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about the elder’s experiences as they consider the burden on
family
Add an article
the family
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to some extent because of each passing day the health issues with
human
Correct article usage
the human
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body
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
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on
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apply
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contrary
the
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to the
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level to generate income by doing job or business decreases.
Secondly
, the weak government
policies
by neglecting the benefits for senior persons
put
Verb problem
had
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a drastic impact on
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
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budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
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.
Furthermore
, the lifestyle needs modification with the period of change.
Whereas
now
the
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apply
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seniors
make effective decisions by experiencing drawbacks from the past and invest in insurance
policies
that
shields
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shield
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their future in terms of medical burden, in real estate and other businesses side by side.
Moreover
, they utilize their experiences by starting
the
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apply
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consultancy firms,
actively
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and actively
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participate
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participating
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in social
NGO’s
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NGOs
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by investing their leisure time
promoting
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in promoting
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gardening.
Besides
that, the role of
seniors
is just like a shelter and their life experiences
matters
Correct subject-verb agreement
matter
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a lot to juniors.
Also
, the governments of many countries have modified the
policies
in
favor
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favour
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of senior citizens. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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to
Change preposition
apply
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a nutshell, I pen down by saying that the future of
seniors
is now more secure than past because of modifications in government
policies
and the change of mentality.
Submitted by helma.devina on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
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