IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more prons to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? give reasons for your answers and give relevant examples

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Certain people like to live in a house,on the other ,hand there are people who prefer to live in an
apartment
Use synonyms
.Living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 has its own pluses like security and access to amenities .
However
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 , owning an independent building
also
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 offers benefits like the spacious , natural circulation of fresh air .Both of these are to be discussed below. An
apartment
Use synonyms
 is a place which has all the basic amenities like a swimming pool , a shopping complex and even a hospital.
Overall
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,it provides all the luxuries one could ask for.
Moreover
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 , an
apartment
Use synonyms
 is usually enclosed within the boundaries of a tight and vigilant security system.
Thus
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 , allowing the restricted entry of unwanted visitors.Even if somebody comes to meet a particular family ,he has to go through a highly efficient scan system.
Hence
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 , preferably a safer community to lead a stress-free life.
However
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, a residence is usually built on the owner's preferred design and
consequently
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 is made in a huge area .The greater the area ,the more facilities like bigger rooms ,larger kitchens and well-maintained and flourished bathrooms are prevalent. For the above-mentioned regions ,it extremely falls in the range of bigger families .
Thus
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 , strengthening the family ties as the bond is developed.
Also
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, a personal garden can be maintained which adds aesthetics to the building and enhances the beauty of the zone. In a nutshell ,in countries like India which has a large population ,the dwelling venue is chosen as per the requirements like the number of family members ,cost , and closeness to the workplace.Most urban populations live in apartments
while
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 rural ones reside in individual homes.

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task response
The essay lacks in-depth analysis and development of ideas. It would be beneficial to provide more detailed examples and explanations to support the points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is somewhat disorganized. Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical progression of ideas, with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
lexical resource
The use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is a need for more precise and varied word choices to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks complexity in sentence structures. Aim for more varied and sophisticated use of grammar and sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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