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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Different cultures teach different things, but some cultures focus on teaching children that they can achieve anything by working hard. Making children learn this certainly has advantages, but it also has some drawbacks.

Firstly
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, by telling
children
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 the importance of hard
work
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,
parents
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 try to enhance their working habits.
For instance
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, a child is told that
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
he
she
show examples
 can get chocolate after you
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 set all
Correct article usage
the
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toys on the shelf. Now
this
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 gives an impression to the child that once he has done some
work
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,
then
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 he will get what he wants.
Such
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 situations build up their confidence and hardworking nature, and
children
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then
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 utilize these qualities in later years of life too.
Secondly
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, it helps
children
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 to be zealous, ambitious and even creative. The thought that they can achieve anything helps them in thinking out of the box and pursuing their interest and dreams.
On the other hand
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, sometimes
parents
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 get so hard on
children
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. Many
parents
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 force their
children
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 to
work
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 more;
therefore
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, creating a stressful situation for them. Other times it
also
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 leads to different health issues so
such
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 things should not be taught forcefully.
In addition
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 to
this
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, some
children
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 can develop pride and ego and might not be able to cope with failures. It is important to teach
children
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 to
work
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 hard;
however
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, it is equally important to teach them coping mechanisms when they
will
Verb problem
apply
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fail. Swimming it up, there are both pros and cons to teaching
children
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 to
work
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 hard. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
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 being hard and
children
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 not coping with failure, the
ambitious
Replace the word
ambition
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 and the characteristics it builds outweigh and are more beneficial in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term.z

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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