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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows radio and televition audiences through out the day in 1992.

The graph below shows radio and televition audiences through out the day in 1992.
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The given graph highlights information about the number of both
radio
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 and
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televition
Correct your spelling
television
admires during
Verb problem
advertisements
show examples
 per day in 1992 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
radio
Use synonyms
 was attractive for listeners
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the morning
while
Linking Words
 most nations preferred to spend their time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching TV at night.
In addition
Linking Words
,
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televition
Correct your spelling
television
 had more admires in comparison with
radio
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 totally. Looking at the details, approximately 10 per
cent
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 of folks embarked on listening to
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radio
Add an article
the radio
show examples
 at 6
a.
Correct your spelling
a.m.
m
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 and it hit a peak at 26 per
cent
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 at 8
a.
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a.m.
m
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 and
then
Linking Words
 it saw a
steadily
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steady
show examples
 decline to 16; at which point, it attracted a similar group of nations with
Use synonyms
televition
Correct your spelling
television
 and
then
Linking Words
 it experienced a fluctuating trend until 6
p
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.
m
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 As for
Use synonyms
televition
Correct your spelling
television
, it had zero watchers at 6 a.
m
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 and
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated for fourteen hours and reached a top at 8
p
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.
m
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 with nearly 50 per
cent
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 watchers.
In addition
Linking Words
, it plummeted sharply to under 5 per
cent
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 at 2
p
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.
m
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 .
Finally
Linking Words
, it remained stable from 2
Use synonyms
p.
Correct your spelling
p.m.
m
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 to 6
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p.
Correct your spelling
p.m.
m
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 concerning both lines.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words radio, televition, cent, m, p with synonyms.
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