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Band 5.5

Wild animals have no use in the 21st century and trying to preserve animals now is just a waste of money. To what extent do agree or disagree with this opinion?

#animals #st #century #waste #money
It is
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 argued that it is pointless to spend money defending wild
animals
. I personally disagree with
this
 conviction and will support my argument in the essay below. It is true that wild
animals
 have no place in the 21st century.
Firstly
, it is not easy to protect all these
animals
 because they have different habitats and habits, some of which are extremely aggressive.
Secondly
, there are few people who accept to do first aid work for
animals
 because of its risk, so many times they aren’t treated in time.
Finally
, they are being fiercely by hunters, making conversation even harder.
According to
 statistics, Vietnam is one of the places to trade and transship a large number of wildlife parts
such
 as ivory, rhino horns, etc. I disagree with the idea that protecting wild
animals
 is a waste of money because it is perhaps even more important to protect them from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangers
Fix the agreement mistake
danger
show examples
 and extinction. They have a lot of benefits for the ecosystem
as well as
 in our lives. Wild
animals
 play a crucial role in balancing the ecosystem and natural food chain;
moreover
, many other
animals
 have great aesthetic and socio-cultural values. The fact that they don’t disappear but continue to reproduce and develop
further
also
 helps biodiversity
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes
this
 planet a beautiful place.
Besides
 some species assist humans in life and production,
such
 as buffaloes, bees, cows, etc. In conclusion,
while
 there is an opinion that the protection of wildlife
is squander
Change the verb form
is squandered
is squandering
show examples
, I am inclined to believe that these
animals
 are
also
 very beneficial for life so we should conserve them.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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