The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities.

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The graph indicates how the information about the mean temperatures over a 1-year period changed in three various towns.

Overall

Linking Words

, the figures for

Paris

Use synonyms

and Dubai experienced similar trends with fluctuating

whereas

Linking Words

the town named Sydney underwent the opposite aptitude.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Paris

Use synonyms

city represented the constant data for both the starting and ending months. Looking at the data sets in

Paris

Use synonyms

in detail

it is clear that

Linking Words

the mean temperatures started at 5

degrees

Use synonyms

centigrade in January and that jumped gradually to 20 in July. Afterwards,

this

Linking Words

figure remained the same until August,

then

Linking Words

average heat

consequently

Linking Words

dropped to 5

degrees

Use synonyms

again in December. Regarding Dubai town, the statistics stood at nearly 19

degrees

Use synonyms

in January which was comparatively higher than the

temperature

Use synonyms

Paris

Use synonyms

town.

In addition

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this

Linking Words

average heat increased significantly to just above 35

degrees

Use synonyms

which depicts the highest

temperature

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

graph.

Finally

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, the

temperature

Use synonyms

in Dubai declined sharply over the time period and finished at about 21

degrees

Use synonyms

in the

last

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month of the following year. Turning to the information sets in Sydney in more detail it is evident that average warmth was just below 25

degrees

Use synonyms

at the starting month of the year and that fell steadily up to July accounting for 13

degrees

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– the lowest

temperature

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in Sydney.

Lastly

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, the figure rose considerably and ended at around 24

degrees

Use synonyms

in December.

Submitted by jonahid.stu20ju on Sun Oct 01 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words paris, degrees, temperature with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "sets" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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Many people believe that throughout our education most of the time is spend on learning facts rather than acquiring practical knowledge. I completely agree with the aforementioned notion.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities.

Some people believe that the internet has positive effect , others think that It has negative trends .Discuss both views and give your opinion .

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?