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Band 3

Some people believe that alcohol should be considered as a drug and made illegal. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#people #alcohol #drug
These days, most
people
 think that
alcohol
 is like a drug. I totally agree with
this
 statement.
people
 know
that is
 unhealthy for our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. On one hand,
people
 argue that drinking
alcohol
 affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their brain as a drug, so that they can not concentrate with others and
also
ondividulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 mean
addiciton
Correct your spelling
addiction
.
For example
, Britain
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 government do not have a rule for drinking,so
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 a crime and
kill
Wrong verb form
killed
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
.
Moreover
,
people
also
 say that drinking
alcohol
 impacts
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lifestyle during
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they will lose their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
.
For instance
, some companies in Oman do not accept any
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 who take
alcohol
.
On the other hand
,
people
 believe that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 their own opinion,
as well as
,they want to have their own life with anyone
share
Fix the infinitive
to share
show examples
 with them. To
be clarify
Change the verb form
clarify
show examples
,
communites
Correct your spelling
communities
 in Mexico can drink
alcohol
,
while
 no one can punish them. Others think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 young
people
feeel
Correct your spelling
feel
felt
fell
 sad or angry,so they
obtain
Verb problem
try
show examples
 to forgt their problems
that s
Correct your spelling
that's
 the best way for them. in conclusion, in my view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad behavior
considers
Verb problem
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 crime for
people
. If
people
 do not have any punishment from parents or police, they do not learn.
Submitted by bad74b on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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