IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that a college or university education should be aviable to all students. Others believe that higher education should be aviable only to good students. Discuss these views. Which view do you agree with? Explain why.

#people #college #university #education #aviable #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that
education
Use synonyms
 is not exclusivity and
everona
Correct your spelling
everyone
 should take advantage of it , independent of their social status and fortune.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with that opinion because of the benefits of
education
Use synonyms
. The essay will first look at
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 that learning brings to
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 sector
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
family well-being
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Education
Use synonyms
 should not only be limited to strict academic
pursuit
Fix the agreement mistake
pursuits
show examples
 and should
also
Linking Words
 develop vitality. If
education
Use synonyms
 is
aviable
Correct your spelling
available
 for everyone , among poor people enlightening doctors can be discovered. Educational healthcare
profetionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 mean healthier
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 some
illnesses’s
Change the noun form
illnesses
show examples
 can not be cured yet ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it improves treatment methods. In financially
needed
Replace the word
needy
show examples
 countries because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
education
Use synonyms
, people suffer from a lot of illnesses.
According to
Linking Words
 UNICEF relating prospering learning , in three decades 63% of health problems are solved and individual’s average lifetime increased. Family prosperity
also
Linking Words
depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on
education
Use synonyms
, as educated individual tends to make better parenting decision and provide
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 stable home environment. They know how to treat family
mambers
Correct your spelling
members
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 their children.
Linking Words
While educated
Correct word choice
Educated
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 better provide
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 family’s needs
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 help their children with their lessons. As stated by
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
show examples
 of
Education
Use synonyms
 , Children
who
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 parents are
well educated
Add a hyphen
well-educated
show examples
 are
also
Linking Words
 good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their lessons. In summary, it is essential to emphasize that
education
Use synonyms
 is not a luxury but rather a fundamental right and a valuable resource that should be accessible to all. We should all recognize its benefits and strive to acquire knowledge and skills to make a positive impact on our world.
Submitted by sharifovazb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: