IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviours #age #group #argue #peer #pressure
Youngsters normally have similar behaviours as peers of their age. Advocates are of the opinion that the influence of the same
group
 is vital
whereas
 proponents assume it has unique drawbacks. I strongly vote for disadvantages
due to
 the negative impact of
this
group
 on young
people
 and the elimination of youngsters’ identities.
Firstly
, peer
pressure
 on the young generation might have negative effects.
In other words
, young
people
 may force each other to have the same behaviours
such
 as smoking cigarettes which exacerbate their personality.
Moreover
, they might try to do some illegal activities which completely destroy their life.
Secondly
, the young nation will lose their true identity under the
pressure
 of their peer. To clarify, youngster have their personality which is unique but when they are under
pressure
 they will lose their passion for life and try to do the exact activities like as other
people
 in their age.
For instance
, Iranian young
people
 who are really talented in music prefer to follow other young generations around the world because they are under
pressure
.
Also
, the advantages of
this
 notion are irrefutable that will explain. Some proponents assume that the effect of
this
group
 of
people
 can increase their tendency in order to build better lives for themselves, not only they can be really helpful to each other, but
also
 they influence each other to take action in some cases.
However
this
 they just overlooked and they did not pay attention to the negative
pressure
 of
this
group
 of
people
 on each other. In conclusion, genially youngers are influenced by their peer in their behaviours. Some proponents have
this
 assumption that
this
 effect is important for their lives
while
 others believe that it may have a negative impact on them. I firmly hold the view that the disadvantages of
this
 notion outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • influence
  • behaviours
  • age group
  • positive behaviour
  • negative influence
  • substance abuse
  • reckless behaviour
  • detrimental effects
  • health and future prospects
  • social skills
  • sense of belonging
  • emotional and psychological development
  • erode
  • self-esteem
  • personal values
  • decision-making abilities
  • introduce new perspectives
  • open-mindedness
  • conform
  • individuality
  • creativity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: