"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

#people #part #society #support

Every country has an old

generation

and they are the ones who work for a long time of their

life

to develop their country. They are the ones who can guide us to our success. Because they have more

life

experience than us. So

due to

this

most of the time decisions taken by them are correct. As an

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

example our parents are

also

now in the older

generation

. Both of them gave us birth and they gave us the required education and guidance to become successful in our

lives

. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Still

Add a comma

,Still

show examples

they guide us when we have a problem in both our private

life

and our jobs. Because they have a good idea about the problems in our

lives

Also

, teachers who gave us education

also

now in the same

generation

. They gave us a good knowledge of various subjects , they helped us to set our goals in

life

and showed us the path to achieve them. They gave education to a lot of students during their lifetime and

this

helped to build a well-educated and decent society. From

this

generation

some of them are nurses and doctors. These are the people who help to protect our

lives

from various illnesses and help us to maintain a healthy

life

from birth to today. ,

Also

some of them are soldiers and they are the ones who protect our country from various attacks. In summary, everyone in the old

generation

is an essential part of society for various reasons as described above with examples. So we need to respect them as they sacrificed their

lives

for our future.

Submitted by skdikshan on Sun Oct 01 2023

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lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structure to avoid redundancies. Also make sure to avoid comma splices (i.e., using a comma to connect two independent clauses; e.g. "...birth to today, also some of them are soldiers...").

task response

Try to further develop your points for a stronger argument. For instances, while you mentioned that the older generation includes parents, teachers, doctors, and soldiers, you could provide more specific examples or delve deeper into how these roles contribute to society.

grammar

Avoid repetition and strive for a more engaging writing style. Don’t overuse certain phrases ('They are the ones'), and try to diversify your language use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Aome people like to try new things , for example, places to visit and types of food. other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion

More and more people around the world are learning English as a second or foreign language, even in countries where it is not used in daily life. What are the advantages and disadvantages to this?

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?