"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

#people #part #society #support

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Every country has an old

generation

and they are the ones who work for a long time of their

life

to develop their country. They are the ones who can guide us to our success. Because they have more

life

experience than us. So

due to

this

most of the time decisions taken by them are correct. As an

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

example our parents are

also

now in the older

generation

. Both of them gave us birth and they gave us the required education and guidance to become successful in our

lives

. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Still

Add a comma

,Still

show examples

they guide us when we have a problem in both our private

life

and our jobs. Because they have a good idea about the problems in our

lives

Also

, teachers who gave us education

also

now in the same

generation

. They gave us a good knowledge of various subjects , they helped us to set our goals in

life

and showed us the path to achieve them. They gave education to a lot of students during their lifetime and

this

helped to build a well-educated and decent society. From

this

generation

some of them are nurses and doctors. These are the people who help to protect our

lives

from various illnesses and help us to maintain a healthy

life

from birth to today. ,

Also

some of them are soldiers and they are the ones who protect our country from various attacks. In summary, everyone in the old

generation

is an essential part of society for various reasons as described above with examples. So we need to respect them as they sacrificed their

lives

for our future.

Submitted by skdikshan on Sun Oct 01 2023

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lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structure to avoid redundancies. Also make sure to avoid comma splices (i.e., using a comma to connect two independent clauses; e.g. "...birth to today, also some of them are soldiers...").

task response

Try to further develop your points for a stronger argument. For instances, while you mentioned that the older generation includes parents, teachers, doctors, and soldiers, you could provide more specific examples or delve deeper into how these roles contribute to society.

grammar

Avoid repetition and strive for a more engaging writing style. Don’t overuse certain phrases ('They are the ones'), and try to diversify your language use.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

essential part of society
wealth of experience
intergenerational interaction
contribute significantly
cultural norm
social traditions
dignity and support
volunteering sector
building communities
shaping society
empathy and respect

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"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

Fully explain your ideas

News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health process as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?