These two charts show the ratio of online selling in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013

#two #show #ratio #zealand

The two diagrams

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

the retail

portions

of online shopping sales in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013.

Overall

, there were four

portions

in these pie charts, the

portions

of travel and clothes decreased, the rest of the parts in film/ music and books increased. The total percentage of film/ music and books proportions

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

40% in 2003, both of them were around

one fifth

Add a hyphen

one-fifth

show examples

of the chart,

however

, the film/ music had a

dramatically

Change the adverb

dramatic

show examples

increase to 33% in 2013.

This

situation

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

total

Add an article

a total

show examples

of these two

took

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

more than half of the chart in 2013, and the numbers for each of the

portions

were 33% and 22% respectively. The travel and clothes used to take more than half of the chart in 2003, the ratios were 36% and 24% for each. In 2013, both of them had a

slightly

Change the word

slight

show examples

decrease

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

7%,

furthermore

, these

diminish

Wrong verb form

diminished

show examples

constituted their combined ratio dropped to 45%.

Submitted by youn.21 on Sun Oct 01 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words portions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratios" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

154 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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These two charts show the ratio of online selling in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013

In some countries, there is not enough recycling of waste materials(eg,paper, glass, can). What are the reasons and solutions?

**In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports.** **What are the consequences of doping for athletes?** **What measures should be taken to combat this issue?**

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People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think govt should be responsible. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

The performance of staff can have significant impact on the success of a company What can companies do to increase staff productivity?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?