how do you think about Celebrating the Mid autumn festival?

#autumn

Warm

welcoming

Replace the word

welcome

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to all of you guys. today

i'm

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I'm

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going to tell you about my

last

mid autumn

Add a hyphen

mid-autumn

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fesstival

Correct your spelling

festival

. It's a meaningful event. My

brethrens

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brethren

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and

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celebrated a

mid autumn

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mid-autumn

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festival for children at Thanh Da. We started at 6pm on

friday

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Friday

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september

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September

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29th 2023 and the venue was Clemente

footbal

Correct your spelling

football

field.

Then

the organizers were postulants.

Besides

, we had a lot of exhilarating activities

such

as lion dancing, lantern

parade

Fix the agreement mistake

parades

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, giving moon cakes, singing together and riddles, etc.

Last

but not least,

Change the capitalization

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love lion dancing so much because

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played a role as drummer for it. In conclusion, we

spent

Verb problem

had

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a wonderful night. All of us were fatigued but

amusing

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amused

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and thrilled. We wish we could celebrate more and more events like

this

every year. So that, children can join in and play with us. So all in all I believe that

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children's

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children'

Correct your spelling

children

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s smiles and happiness are our smiles and happiness too

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Mon Oct 02 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

156 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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how do you think about Celebrating the Mid autumn festival?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries today children begin learning a foreign language before entering primary school. What are the reasons for this? At what age should children begin to learn a foreign language?

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.