IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Q: UNIVERSITIES SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT . TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE ?

#q #universities #numbers #students
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Some people prefer
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 stable
life
Use synonyms
 without any unwanted
changes
Use synonyms
, but others reckon that
changes
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 you stronger and bring something new
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 your everyday routine. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I am going to compare
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of it. In
general
Add a comma
general,
show examples
 the quote «What
doesn
Correct your spelling
does
’
Rephrase
n't kills
show examples
kills
Correct subject-verb agreement
kill
show examples
 you makes you stronger» explains most of
benefits
Add an article
the benefits
show examples
 of
changes
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct article usage
Life
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 always gives you
challenges
Use synonyms
, and facing them
instead
Linking Words
 of avoiding
gives
Correct pronoun usage
them gives
show examples
 you
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
expieriense
Correct your spelling
experiences
, skills and knowledge. The obtained
experiense
Correct your spelling
experience
 helps you to grow in
life
Use synonyms
 or career,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, we can see those
changes
Use synonyms
 in the movie «Always
say yes
Correct your spelling
Say Yes
show examples
» with the Jim Carrey
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. He used to avoid any
challenges
Use synonyms
, but once he agreed to say «yes» to every opportunity in his
life
Use synonyms
. Alternatively, some people like to have stable and predictable
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 calm lifestyle can be very desirable because you don’t need to
be worry
Change the verb form
worry
show examples
 about tomorrow and you can just enjoy
life
Use synonyms
 without unwanted problems and
challenges
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, some
challenges
Use synonyms
 could be too hard and failure could be catastrophic for mental and
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical
 health. If
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 is unprepared to face failure it can
brake
Verb problem
break
show examples
 his
life
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of change are better
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 avoiding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it, my
life
Use synonyms
 and my personal experience
tells
Change the verb form
tell
show examples
 me that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
challenges
Use synonyms
 are worth it.
Also
Linking Words
, I reckon that sometimes people should use both approaches and make pauses in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 active
life
Use synonyms
 with
changes
Use synonyms
 to relax and enjoy
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and
things
Correct article usage
the things
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 already have achieved.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing a clearer thesis statement at the beginning of the essay to clearly address the prompt. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument effectively and coherently.
Coherence and Cohesion
Expand on the introduction to provide a clearer context for the discussion of the topic. Ensure that a conclusion is included to summarize the main points effectively.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Consider using academic and formal language to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Work on using a wider variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a more advanced level of grammatical range. Review the use of punctuation for clarity and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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