Many parents are unhappy about the fact that the violence content in computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities is influencing their children. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions of this problem?
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In recent times violence in computer
games
has increased around the world. This
essay will outline the main effects of this
phenomenon and provide a logical solution. There are two major effects on children
's lives which are less concentration and health issues.
To begin
,one of the first problems caused by violent games
is the distribution. Children
are not able to focus well on their activities. For example
, the result of conducting research at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of children
who spend a long time are suffering due to
playing violent games
. Thus
, it enhances the lack of recognition and reduces their academic performance. Another issue to be considered is that violent games
have been linked to many mental health issues such
as depression and anxiety. For instance
, my friend's child felt too worried due to
these games
.
In my opinion, to address this
problem I believe that a possible solution to be noticed is if governments can reduce the implementation policies to the use of violent games
and offer better-educated games
in schools. Another solution is looking after children
and avoiding using Such
games
like them. Parents should replace violent games
with physical activities to develop their children
's skills.
In conclusion, game violence is very dangerous for children
. The effects of these games
could be on their health and their academic level. Therefore
, both the governments and parents have the priority to change this
habit and encourage their children
to play useful games
.Submitted by 13570581 on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, try to provide more detailed examples and explanations for your arguments. This will strengthen the points you make and give your essay more depth.
coherence cohesion
Focus on refining the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Include transitions that connect ideas clearly for smooth reading.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear start and wrap-up to your arguments. Keep maintaining this clarity and summary.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic by identifying both problems and solutions.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, which strengthen your arguments, such as the study from Glasgow University and the anecdote about your friend's child.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly outlining your main argument and summarizing your points effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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