IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by government rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

The debate over whether the
government
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 should totally control scientific
research
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,
while
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instead
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 of personal corporations . I thoroughly disagree scientific
research
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 should only be held by governments,scientific
research
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 should be operated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 private companies ,
will
Correct pronoun usage
which will
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 be explained in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, it is unrealistic for the
government
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 to solely control all technological
research
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 and
development
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, which hinders comprehensive
development
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 and restricts economic and technological progress.
Due to
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 limited
government
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 funding for technological
research
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. The
government
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 has long invested most of its funds in
research
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 on human security and people's livelihoods，
As a result
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., there is limited funding in other economic sectors, which hinders the
development
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 of economic technology,
such
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 as nuclear energy, military technology, and virus
research
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. The
government
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 spends a lot of money to ensure the safety of these technologies, which will not threaten the safety of the public in daily life.
However
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, these studies often have high investment costs and cannot produce economic effects.
On the other hand
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, the participation of private companies in scientific
research
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 has brought numerous benefits, driven economic
development
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, and created social benefits and value.Private enterprises conduct scientific
research
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 based on market demand,
while
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 private companies are flexible and sensitive to the market, able to quickly respond and develop products that meet economic needs.
For example
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, in recent years, the media has continuously reported on the environmental pollution caused by automobile exhaust, and private enterprises have rapidly developed electricity as a substitute for gasoline as a vehicle energy source. In conclusion，I thoroughly disagree scientific
research
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 should only be held by governments，scientific
research
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 should be jointly managed by the
government
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 and private enterprises, rather than being controlled by a single party.

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task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement is clear and directly addresses the question.
coherence
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your points better.
task achievement
The essay introduces the topic well and states a clear opinion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your argument, especially about private companies.
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