The most important aim of science should be to improve peoples lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is an undeniable fact that technology keeps on advancing these days and it has brought about a lot of changes in our
lives
Use synonyms
. Over the past decades, there has been a massive improvement in people's health, their means of transportation and their communications as well.
While
Linking Words
others oppose
this
Linking Words
notion , I strongly agree with the fact that scientists should aim at improving the
lives
Use synonyms
of individuals.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the greatest achievement every nation wants to acquire is good health for its citizens. With
this
Linking Words
, it is expected to provide more equipment that can detect early some diseases and
also
Linking Words
produce the right medications.
For instance
Linking Words
, the introduction of a dialysis machine has helped to improve several
lives
Use synonyms
of late. Many individuals with kidney diseases are able to receive better treatment and
such
Linking Words
illnesses do not cause alarm these days.
Secondly
Linking Words
, communication tools
such
Linking Words
as mobile phones, laptops and tablets are among the other devices that have made life much easier these days as compared to the olden ages. To illustrate, during the COVID-19 outbreak in China, it was through these instruments that messages were conveyed to all countries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the impact of
this
Linking Words
subject on the transport system cannot be underestimated. The creation of railway lines, roads, cars, trains, aeroplanes and many more have made it easier to travel around the globe. In conclusion, there are diverse ways through which several
lives
Use synonyms
have become better. Good healthcare, better means of transportation and varied ways of communication are a few to mention. I still hold to the view that scientists should aim at improving health,
however
Linking Words
, there are many more things they could do to improve the well-being of people.
Submitted by pretty on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Argumentative depth
To enhance your essay further, consider delving deeper into counterarguments to your main points and then refuting them. This can add to the comprehensiveness and persuasiveness of your argument.
Sentence Variation
While your essay is well-structured, to achieve perfection, you might consider varying your sentence structure more to add variety and complexity. This includes using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
Introduction Clarity
In the introduction, directly addressing the question posed can make your stance clear from the very beginning. Consider including a thesis statement that summarizes your main argument in one sentence.
Structure
Your essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes your argument easy to follow.
Supporting Examples
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the reference to dialysis machines and the impact of mobile phones during the COVID-19 outbreak, which solidifies your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The coherence of your essay is commendable. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth, and ideas within paragraphs are well connected, making your essay cohesive and easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements
  • Cures for diseases
  • Quality of life
  • Environmental issues
  • Pollution
  • Sustainable resource management
  • Technological innovation
  • Efficient
  • Basic needs
  • Enhancing communication
  • Scientific discoveries
  • Informed decisions
  • Economic growth
  • Research and development
  • Job opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: