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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions) of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions) of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#changes #production #millions #three #products #garment #factory #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the variation in
Use synonyms
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of three clothes in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010.
While
Linking Words
 suit and dress experienced fluctuation, the variation of coat shows
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend throughout the survey
period
Use synonyms
. The number in
production
Use synonyms
 of
suit
Fix the agreement mistake
suits
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 experienced a
period
Use synonyms
 of
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
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increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 until 1995. The
production
Use synonyms
 number reduced sharply from 27
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 1995 to 16
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2005, attaining 18
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
, starting from 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 a decline
period
Use synonyms
 from 1995 to 2000, the
production
Use synonyms
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of dress climbed to 15
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2010 and
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 the least
prevalant
Correct your spelling
prevalent
 cloth
at the end
Linking Words
 of the survey
period
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
production
Use synonyms
 number of
coat
Fix the agreement mistake
coats
show examples
 rose dramatically from 7
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1990 to 27 in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, the increase speed has slowed down since 2005, reaching 25
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2010, which is the most popular cloth among these three types in the end.
Submitted by yyh19990803 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, period, millions with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Production volume
  • Garment factory
  • Trend (increasing, decreasing)
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fluctuations
  • Market demand
  • Technological advancements
  • Production capacity
  • Raw material availability
  • Economic conditions
  • Notable observations
  • Significant shifts
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