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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this developmente outweight the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #developmente #outweight
As a result
 of the development of technology
people
's private life is less relevant year by year,
due to
 the persistent monitoring by cell phone tracking.
This
 essay will outline, how the possibility of tracking
people
 down is convenient for parents and for the police in order to find criminals, but
also
 how it leads to the lack of privacy. Whilst acknowledging that there are benefits, the essay will argue that the advantages do not outweigh the drawbacks On the one hand, having a tracking device has some utility
such
 as the option to use digital maps for mobile applications.
Moreover
, in recent times smartphones,
also
 e-watches have programs that allow other
people
 to know your position,
thus
 it could be powerful in some situations.
For example
, parents find
this
 service useful to be aware of their son's location,
therefore
 the same method could be used to track down lawbreakers by the police and reduce delinquency.
On the other hand
,
however
,
this
 results in the absence of privacy especially as
people
 are not always aware that they are monitored. In fact,
besides
 tracking applications, websites are capable of knowing who you are and where you are
due to
 algorithms built up thanks to so-called "cookies".
Moreover
, these data are exploited by multinational companies for their profit.
Furthermore
, the worst aspect is that
people
 are indeed informed but not conscious that they are traced. In conclusion, taking all the points into consideration, I believe that preserving
people
's privacy is more crucial than all the comforts that technology gives us these days,
thus
 the negative aspects definitely outweigh the positive.
Submitted by valeria.pomante on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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