To succeed in business, one needs to know math. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people consider
math
skills to be key to achieving business
success
. While
I accept that this
perception is somewhat justified, I believe that there are a number of other factors that contribute to business
success
.
On the one hand, mathematics helps key people make better decisions. One application of mathematics in business
is to provide statistics that can predict future situations. This
can be seen in the case of Unilever, the company used a statistical model that could forecast the supply and demand of fast-moving consumer goods, allowing company leaders to promptly plan the production and sale of each product. Thanks to that, the scale of this
company has increased significantly and earned huge revenue from data models.
On the other hand
, there are many compelling reasons why I believe one can run a successful business
without excellent math
skills. In fact, many entrepreneurs have built billion-dollar businesses based on great personal qualities. A typical example in this
case is Mr. Nguyen Thanh Duc, Chairman of NTD Group. He was known to be a disruptive student, failing most of his school subjects, including math
. However
, he later became an inspirational leader who could motivate his employees to strive to achieve overall
success
for the corporation. In addition
, his success
was also
thanks to his courage to accept risks with reasonable calculations. His startup grew into a multinational business
empire, becoming a market leader in many industries, including real estate, fishing and forestry.
In conclusion, while
there's no denying that basic math
is an integral part of running a business
, I still think inspirational personality traits and luck are important factors to bring
Change preposition
in bringing
business
to Correct article usage
a business
success
.Submitted by pnkhanhlove on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay presents a clear position and arguments, aiming for more complex sentence structures could improve the logical flow further.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are clear and summarise the main points effectively, which has been done well in this essay.
coherence cohesion
Supporting points could be enhanced further by integrating more detailed examples and explaining how they relate to the thesis.
task achievement
Ensuring that all parts of the task are addressed is crucial. This essay has achieved this, with a balanced discussion on the role of math in business success and the importance of other factors.
task achievement
To increase clarity, ensure that the ideas presented are developed fully and are easy to understand, which this essay successfully demonstrates.
task achievement
Using specific examples to illustrate points is key and this essay includes relevant examples, but elaborating on them could make the position stronger.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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