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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe that money is one of the most important factors in a person's happiness. to what extend do you agree with this?

#people #money #factors #person #happiness
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money
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 as we all know holds an important role in
people
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's lives. But, speaking about
money
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,
people
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 believe that
money
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 is
one
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 of the most significant aspects of bringing
people
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 joy.
This
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 statement,
however
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, is always contradictory.
this
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 essay will discuss that
money
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 after all is an important factor in
people
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's delightment.
one
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 important reason is that
money
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 is always required for every small thing in humans' lives. when a mother raises a newborn, she has to purchase clothes and stuff for the baby. when a child
finally
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 reaches school age, she through her parents is obtained to pay the school fee. what happens when the child is not able to go to school
while
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 her friends are capable? she definitely will feel miserable. another reason is that when you have already lived a good life, you still have to have sufficient
money
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 when you want to upgrade yourself.
for example
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, a healthy body brings you happiness, and to be healthy, all you need is only eat good foods and exercise. you are able to do free exercise in public areas,
such
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 as jogging, running, and walking. but, your body will feel better if you
also
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 balance it by taking vitamins as your daily routine, and
money
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 is the
one
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 that pays you vitamins. another
one
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 is, that you are supposed to look good when smiling,
then
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 you could have brackets on your teeth. those will help you tidy up your teeth structure, and using bracket obviously demand
money
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. I would conclude that
money
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 helps
people
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 to achieve their happiness.
however
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, it is necessary for us to have correct knowledge in managing
money
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.
thus
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, we could spend
money
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 wisely and it will not cause us to be dependent on it.
Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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