These days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#fathers #home #care #children #mothers #work #development

Nowadays,

children

usually are taken

cared

Replace the word

care

show examples

Change preposition

of by

show examples

their fathers

whereas

mothers

are responsible for outdoor

coreers

Correct your spelling

careers

corners

. Generally, there could be two main reasons for

this

occure

Correct your spelling

occur

however

, I believe its negative prospects would outweigh

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

. It seems to me that there are two

pevotal

Correct your spelling

pivotal

factors leading to fathers being at home and

rasing

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

their

children

Change preposition

apply

show examples

while

mothers

are

more busy

Replace the words

busier

show examples

with out-of-home businesses.

Firstly

, in

this

modernized world, people are not only becoming more aware of

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

liberaty

Correct your spelling

liberty

and getting

along with

famales

Correct your spelling

families

presence at workplaces without any intolerance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

, there are even more proper high-payed job positions for

wemon

Correct your spelling

women

Secondly

duo

Correct your spelling

due

show examples

improvement

Add an article

the improvement

show examples

of AI

thecnology

Correct your spelling

technology

and

machinazing

Correct your spelling

machining

works, men who used to be

operaters

Correct your spelling

operators

operated

are losing their jobs and letting their

wifes

Correct your spelling

wives

show examples

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

provide

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

family

financialy

Correct your spelling

financially

Finally

, the development of internet connections is

also

an agent

Change preposition

for

show examples

long-distance job tasks for people having

children

However

, from my personal perspective, it would be more profitable for a child if his or her mother were in charge of

thire

Correct your spelling

their

rasing

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

than their father.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

I believe in equality and that it

dose

Correct your spelling

does

show examples

not differ that much to be raised by each

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

, I still

prefre

Correct your spelling

prefer

to support the idea that

mothers

could be better at taking care of

thier

Correct your spelling

their

belongings. Take emotional connection as an example,

mothers

, in my point of view, as

wemon

Correct your spelling

women

, are more

patiant

Correct your spelling

patient

liture

Correct your spelling

lecture

lure

their

children

with emotional substances

due to

their soft and mild personality which is quite rare in men.

Morevere

Correct your spelling

Moreover

althogh

Correct your spelling

although

it is becoming gradually

widespred

Correct your spelling

widespread

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

fathers at home, it is not accepted in whole societies that families could be run in

this

way. As

Change the article

show examples

result, for a

child

Add a comma

,child

show examples

it would be

Correct your spelling

embarrassing

embaressing

Correct your spelling

embarrassing

to have

different

Add an article

a different

the different

show examples

family pattern in

compare

Replace the word

comparison

show examples

with his or her friends In conclusion, in

this

modern

eara

Correct your spelling

era

, I believe, several

cercumestanses

Correct your spelling

circumstances

are leading to a new family running and it would be more demerit for

children

Submitted by z.rajabi on Mon Oct 02 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: <4

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: <4

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some say that increasing price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pu0llution problems. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people say that the main enviromental problem of our time is the loss of partivcular species of plants and animlas. others say that there are more important enviromental problmes discuss both these views and give your opinion

With the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, fewer people are writing letters. Some people think that the traditional skill of writing letters will disappear completely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?