IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'Social media has had a negative impact on society.'

#media #impact #society
It is often said that social
media
 has had a detrimental effect on
society
. Personally, I would say that I completely disagree with the previous statement and I will elaborate more in the next paragraphs. Social
media
, like many other technologies, basically is just a tool that depends on its users, whether they want to use it for good or not. It can become a place of
people
 with good causes and spread it so their movement can reach more
people
 and their cause can be reached faster. Many positive events and impacts on a wide variety of topics can be easily found in social
media
,
such
 as pioneering environmental campaigns, starting a student movement, and donating funds for
people
 who need it. Take Palestine
for example
. With social
media
, the genocide
that is
 happening there can be easily informed and shared
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the wider audience or netizens, so
people
 from around the world can gather their sources to help them and start a movement demanding to stop it. Because of social
media
, many students and workers can organize more effectively so the goal
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 help the Palestinians free from their suffering. Because of its neutrality, social
media
 can be used for something beneficial for
society
. To say that social
media
 has harmed
society
 is an oversimplification that undermines the positive impacts that it has and reduces its potential to create and start a good thing for
society
. It is up to us as a
society
, whether we want to use it for
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 cause or not.
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear position on the topic and supports it with relevant arguments and examples. However, you should aim to provide more detailed examples and elaborate further on your points to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to ensure a more varied and sophisticated use of vocabulary and sentence structures. While your essay is clear and easy to understand, using a wider range of language will help demonstrate higher-level writing skills.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is mostly well-organized, but you could improve the logical flow of ideas by using more linking words and phrases to connect different parts of your argument. This will make your essay easier to follow and more coherent.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument well.
task achievement
You provide a relevant example about the situation in Palestine to support your argument, which makes your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and maintains a consistent position throughout, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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