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Band 4.5

Some people think that environmental conservation is a global concern. Some others think that some countries do not need it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #conservation #concern #countries
Protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is considered as a spheral anxiety,
while
 others believe that it is useless for most domains. I personally think that environmental preservation should be
global
Add an article
a global
show examples
 concern. On the one hand, it is understandable for some to think that the government should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility for the protection of the climate and preserve
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
environment
. As a provincial, they should guide their citizens to live, work or socialize and raise awareness of environmental conservation, so protecting
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 is the responsibility of each nation.
For instance
, if the
country
 fails to solve its own environmental problems, it will not set
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an example and lead the world to make an effort together to solve
this
 issue.
Thus
, some citizens believe that every
country
 should preserve their own
environment
;
however
, it is a problematic issue if it fails to address the issue.
On the other hand
, it is more convincing for some that
such
 issues should be solved globally, and I agree. Undoubtedly, global complications can be dissolved quickly when all
countries
 perform together. For one thing, in transnational cooperation, because the situation of each
country
 is different, what is harmful to the
environment
 in
this
country
 may be the key to solving environmental issues in another
country
. International cooperation across borders can improve the global
environment
.
Thus
, dissolving global problems rapidly is probable when all
countries
 around the world work together. In conclusion, some consider that most
countries
 do not need to the
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the preservation of the
environment
,
while
 others believe that it is a global problem, so all
countries
 should cooperate.
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in a more logical and clearer manner.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and improve sentence structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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