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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar graph represents world
pineapple
Use synonyms
 exports by three
leader
Change to a plural noun
leaders
show examples
 of the fruit producing countries from 2009 to 2019.
However
Linking Words
, the pie graph reveals
distribution
Add an article
the distribution
show examples
 of the cost to the consumer of
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
pineapple
Use synonyms
 in 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, Country A produced the most significant tonnages of
pineapple
Use synonyms
 exported throughout the period, and transportation for each
pineapple
Use synonyms
's expenditure
more
Add a missing verb
was more
show examples
 than one-third of the total cost. The three different countries
were leading
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of pineapples between 2009 and 2019.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more than 4
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
exported
Add a missing verb
were exported
show examples
 from Country B in 2009, which was the highest
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to its counterparts. It decreased to below 2
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 after a decade.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, approximately 1
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of the fruit
exported
Add a missing verb
was exported
show examples
 from County A in 2009 before ascending
over
Change preposition
to over
show examples
 10
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2019. County C only contributed
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 amount of the fruit which was slightly increased over time. There were seven different items for
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 expenditure of the cost to the consumer of a
pineapple
Use synonyms
 in 2019.
However
Linking Words
, the biggest proportion was transportation expenses around 35% which was almost double
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of profit
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 18%. The remaining three important categories were export costs, import licences, and international transport with 16%, 10%, and 12% respectively. Other costs only took less than 10% which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 less than
fee
Add an article
the fee
a fee
show examples
 of import licences.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charts
  • world pineapple exports
  • top three producing countries
  • 2009
  • 2019
  • breakdown
  • cost to the consumer
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
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