Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Juveniles spend most of their hours on smartphones because of the situation created after the lockdown.

due to

Linking Words

which the

children

Use synonyms

were used to be indulged by those

touch

Use synonyms

screens.

For example

Linking Words

coronavirus

Correct article usage

the coronavirus

show examples

forced us to be under a curfew and so . In order to , entertain, study and for other

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

children

Use synonyms

got adapted to its usage.

As a result

Linking Words

, they got addicted to these

phones

Use synonyms

.Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

curfew had been cancelled and normal life had been declared .Juveniles who have

got

Replace the word

gotten

show examples

addicted started to develop a habit of watching movies,playing games etc.By doing so, they got absorbed by these

phones

Use synonyms

moreover

Linking Words

.using

phones

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

both pros and cons .

In particular

Linking Words

,due tothe curfew in lockdown.Young ones

used

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

their smartphones to study.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, from morning to evening they use these

touch

Use synonyms

phones

Use synonyms

for studying

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

.Even though,they used it for other extracurricular activities and benefited from it .

On the other hand

Linking Words

,they

also

Linking Words

got addicted to playing games, watching reels and so on .

As a result

Linking Words

,juveniles

exploited

Wrong verb form

exploit

show examples

their own time and health.Owing to, the negative side of

touch

Use synonyms

phones

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

lockdown

Add an article

the lockdown

show examples

has led to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

increase in the usage of

touch

Use synonyms

phones

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

.In my opinion ,we can restrain our

children

Use synonyms

and make them become more knowledgeable by using smartphones.

insighttribezTue Oct 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction.

coherence cohesion

Develop your ideas further with supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Include a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects.

lexical resource

Use more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures.

grammatical range accuracy

Improve sentence structure and grammar.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

209 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
This essay is concerned with the substantial earnings of successful sports professionals compared to those in other important professions. In the following paragraphs, I will consider the arguments for why this disparity in earnings might be justified as well as the reasons why it might be considered unfair.
6
band
Some people think that wearing uniforms fosters solidarity between staff and makes them feel part of a team. Others claim that it is better to have a dress code than a uniform. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Wearing the uniform is implemented in some companies, and in other companies, staff choose to dress whatever they want. There is an ambivalence regarding these different viewpoints. Whereas proponents argue that wearing the uniform should be compulsory, opponents including me believe that it would be better for workers to have a dress code.
7
band
Some countries import a large amount of food from other parts of the world.is this positive or negative trend?
In today's modern world, many countries are preferred to importing the meal than produce. Because it is more effective than producing products as the climate of the country is different and they choose to import.
6.5
band
All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion
There is a common belief that the government should fund education and healthcare and it should be provided free for the general public. I completely disagree with this opinion because education and healthcare both are expensive fields of expenses to the government so general people should contribute according to their financial abilities.
7.5
band
Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion
The issue of whether grandparents should live with their extended families is partly a question of the traditions in different cultures or nationalities. However, the question of affordability also plays an increasing part, and so this debate is rather complex, as we shall see. On the one hand, those who support the idea of grandparents living with their children point to 9 the higher level of emotional support which all family members may receive in such situations, for example in times of crisis such as bereavement. Furthermore, it is also true that personal security may be increased, offering protection against such problems as accidents or even robbery. Finally, it seems that extended family life will also be considerably less costly, for instance with lower food and utility bills, meaning that enjoyment of life may be higher. By contrast, supporters of grandparents living independently often state that elderly people should be encouraged to be as self-reliant as possible, as th...

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Some people think that wearing uniforms fosters solidarity between staff and makes them feel part of a team. Others claim that it is better to have a dress code than a uniform. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some countries import a large amount of food from other parts of the world.is this positive or negative trend?

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion