Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Juveniles spend most of their hours on smartphones because of the situation created after the lockdown.
due to
which the
children
were used to be indulged by those
touch
screens.
For example
,
coronavirus
Correct article usage
the coronavirus
show examples
forced us to be under a curfew and so . In order to , entertain, study and for other
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
children
got adapted to its usage.
As a result
, they got addicted to these
phones
.Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
curfew had been cancelled and normal life had been declared .Juveniles who have
got
Replace the word
gotten
show examples
addicted started to develop a habit of watching movies,playing games etc.By doing so, they got absorbed by these
phones
.
moreover
.using
phones
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
both pros and cons .
In particular
,due tothe curfew in lockdown.Young ones
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
their smartphones to study.
Furthermore
, from morning to evening they use these
touch
phones
for studying
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.Even though,they used it for other extracurricular activities and benefited from it .
On the other hand
,they
also
got addicted to playing games, watching reels and so on .
As a result
,juveniles
exploited
Wrong verb form
exploit
show examples
their own time and health.Owing to, the negative side of
touch
phones
.
To sum up
,
lockdown
Add an article
the lockdown
show examples
has led to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase in the usage of
touch
phones
by
children
.In my opinion ,we can restrain our
children
and make them become more knowledgeable by using smartphones.
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas further with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Include a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects.
lexical resource
Use more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures.
grammatical range accuracy
Improve sentence structure and grammar.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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