Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Juveniles spend most of their hours on smartphones because of the situation created after the lockdown.

due to

Linking Words

which the

children

Use synonyms

were used to be indulged by those

touch

Use synonyms

screens.

For example

Linking Words

coronavirus

Correct article usage

the coronavirus

show examples

forced us to be under a curfew and so . In order to , entertain, study and for other

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

children

Use synonyms

got adapted to its usage.

As a result

Linking Words

, they got addicted to these

phones

Use synonyms

.Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

curfew had been cancelled and normal life had been declared .Juveniles who have

got

Replace the word

gotten

show examples

addicted started to develop a habit of watching movies,playing games etc.By doing so, they got absorbed by these

phones

Use synonyms

moreover

Linking Words

.using

phones

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

both pros and cons .

In particular

Linking Words

,due tothe curfew in lockdown.Young ones

used

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

their smartphones to study.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, from morning to evening they use these

touch

Use synonyms

phones

Use synonyms

for studying

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

.Even though,they used it for other extracurricular activities and benefited from it .

On the other hand

Linking Words

,they

also

Linking Words

got addicted to playing games, watching reels and so on .

As a result

Linking Words

,juveniles

exploited

Wrong verb form

exploit

show examples

their own time and health.Owing to, the negative side of

touch

Use synonyms

phones

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

lockdown

Add an article

the lockdown

show examples

has led to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

increase in the usage of

touch

Use synonyms

phones

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

.In my opinion ,we can restrain our

children

Use synonyms

and make them become more knowledgeable by using smartphones.

Submitted by insighttribez on Tue Oct 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction.

coherence cohesion

Develop your ideas further with supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Include a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects.

lexical resource

Use more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures.

grammatical range accuracy

Improve sentence structure and grammar.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

209 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
"Prevention is better than cure". Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays,lots of developed countries around the world spend millions of dollar on health awareness programs to ensure that the local citizen is well aware of the causes and issues regarding the most common diseases. The curriculum is arranged in the form of activities and prizes which excite the participants.It is argued that out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures.
8
band
Some People believe that it is the responsibility of the individuals to take care of their own health.Others believe that government should make sure that their citizen are healthy. discuss both views.
A group of people consider that society should look after their hygiene states, on the other side of the argument, others believe that it is the responsibility of the authority to take care of their population's health. In my view, both of these groups have their own responsibilities and they have to do it in the best way.
7
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In the advertising world, it is currently a trend for brands to showcase their products as an innovation by any means. Although there has been contention on whether this is beneficial or detrimental, I strongly believe this notion can contribute to the prosperity of businesses, and I will present my rationale behind it in detail below.
5
band
Write advantages and disadvantages of child labour.
As we explore our culture , we are known to silent struggle of innocent adolscents behind the doors of factories,farms and industries.Such suppression of innocent smiles is considered child labour.Beside the mixed reviews about this topic,child labour has become a growing trend nowadays,making it a crucial scenario to discuss.
8
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a controversial discussion going on between notions, as a group of them believe that the ones who have high-class careers such as doctors or engineers have to stay in the actual area where they have been born and trained. On the other hand, others hold the belief that they should have the freedom to choose their working environment. I personally agree with the latter opinion, and I think that each individual has to have a chance to choose their working place.

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

"Prevention is better than cure". Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some People believe that it is the responsibility of the individuals to take care of their own health.Others believe that government should make sure that their citizen are healthy. discuss both views.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Write advantages and disadvantages of child labour.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.