Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Juveniles spend most of their hours on smartphones because of the situation created after the lockdown.
due to
which the children
were used to be indulged by those touch
screens.For example
, coronavirus
forced us to be under a curfew and so . In order to , entertain, study and for other Correct article usage
the coronavirus
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
children
got adapted to its usage.As a result
, they got addicted to these phones
.Even though,
curfew had been cancelled and normal life had been declared .Juveniles who have Remove the comma
apply
got
addicted started to develop a habit of watching movies,playing games etc.By doing so, they got absorbed by these Replace the word
gotten
phones
.
moreover
.using phones
have
both pros and cons .Correct subject-verb agreement
has
In particular
,due tothe curfew in lockdown.Young ones used
their smartphones to study.Wrong verb form
use
Furthermore
, from morning to evening they use these touch
phones
for studying purpose
.Even though,they used it for other extracurricular activities and benefited from it .Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
On the other hand
,they also
got addicted to playing games, watching reels and so on . As a result
,juveniles exploited
their own time and health.Owing to, the negative side of Wrong verb form
exploit
touch
phones
.
To sum up
, lockdown
has led to Add an article
the lockdown
the
increase in the usage of Correct article usage
an
touch
phones
by children
.In my opinion ,we can restrain our children
and make them become more knowledgeable by using smartphones.Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas further with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Include a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative aspects.
lexical resource
Use more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures.
grammatical range accuracy
Improve sentence structure and grammar.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion