IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

46.The manufacturing and use of cars damages the environment but their popularity is increasing. Why is this? How could this be controlled?

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Across the globe, the
automobile
Use synonyms
 industry is booming despite its adverse influences on the environment. In
this
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 essay, I will explore some reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and recommend some solutions to control the situation.
To begin
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 with, it is undeniable that
cars
Use synonyms
 continue to be manufactured because they are the most comfortable, popular and convenient means of transportation which are available to the most people.
This
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 is evident by the fact that there were about 1.5 billion
vehicles
Use synonyms
 worldwide in 2022.
Furthermore
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, the
automobile
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 industry has made significant advancements in technology, making
cars
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 more appealing to customers. More specifically, the introduction of electric and hybrid
cars
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 has provided consumers with a more friendly environmental option
although
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 their availability and affordability are still limited compared to other traditional combustion engine models.
In addition
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, the
automobile
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 sector is deeply integrated
to
Change preposition
into
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 the global economy, generating significant employment opportunities and contributing to economic growth.
This
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 creates an incentive for
governments
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 to support and promote
this
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 sector.
However
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,
due to
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 the detrimental effects on the habitat, it is imperative to control the manufacturing and use of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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. Obviously,
governments
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 play an important role in
this
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 process.
Firstly
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, they can enact and enforce strict emission standards for
cars
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. They can
also
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 impose taxes for high-emission
cars
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while
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 offering incentives for electric or fuel-efficient ones.
For example
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, the Canadian provincial and federal government introduced a program named "The Incentive for Zero-Emission
Vehicles
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" and tax write-offs for businesses, to make these types of
cars
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 more affordable, encouraging its citizens to adopt clean technology. Thanks to
this
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 program, the market share of zero-emission
vehicles
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 hit a record of 10.5% in the second quarter of 2023.
Secondly
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, authorities should increase their investment in public transportation, making it a sustainable and viable alternative. If
governments
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 can provide a more reliable and convenient mode of transport, they can encourage their residents to choose
this
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 option, reducing reliance on private
cars
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. In conclusion, the convenience of travelling by car and the economic significance of the
automobile
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 industry are two main factors contributing to the popularity of the manufacturing and use of
cars
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 in spite of the negative impacts on the environment. To mitigate
this
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 problem,
governments
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 can implement policies to encourage their residents to adopt fuel-efficient
vehicles
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 and engage in public transportation.

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task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task question in detail. Provide comprehensive and specific answers to all aspects of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Continue to use a wide range of vocabulary, including less common and idiomatic expressions. Be mindful of word choice to convey precise meaning.
grammatical range
Continue to demonstrate a high level of grammatical control, with accurate use of complex structures and a variety of sentence types.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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