Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

There is a widespread belief that

music

Use synonyms

helps unite

people

Use synonyms

regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. In my opinion, I agree with

this

Linking Words

belief for some reasons, which will be dived into in

this

Linking Words

essay. It is undeniable that

music

Use synonyms

brings us together no matter what culture or age we are. The fundamental reason behind

this

Linking Words

is that it embodies human emotions like joy, love, or sorrow irrespective of its language. As

such

Linking Words

, it is its melody that touches our hearts and resonates in our minds, which is why

people

Use synonyms

in different cultures can sit together and enjoy the same

music

Use synonyms

. Take Davinci's songs as examples, they express exuberance and energy with high-pitch melodies that evoke the youthful spirits among the young around the world.

Besides

Linking Words

, the miracle of

music

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

present in the national anthem when it is played, children, adults, and elders all tune in to the same emotion, which is patriotism, and their unity is stronger than ever. Another noteworthy factor is that

music

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probably connects like-minded

people

Use synonyms

between

generations

Use synonyms

. If family members share the same favorite genres, they will discuss them and spend time enjoying them together, thereby, closing the knits within a family.

For instance

Linking Words

, nowadays, it is commonplace to see a family of different

generations

Use synonyms

gathered in a karaoke room, singing and dancing to the same song with much joy.

As a result

Linking Words

, it is not exaggerated to say that

music

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such

Linking Words

a magic that fosters a sense of shared spirit and cohesion among

people

Use synonyms

in distinguishable cultures and

generations

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

music

Use synonyms

is an invisible thread that connects

people

Use synonyms

within

generations

Use synonyms

or regardless of their cultural origins.

linhng28122001

Oct 3, 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a specific reason or aspect of music's ability to bring people together.

task achievement

Add more examples or evidence to support your points.

lexical resource

Use more varied vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To wat extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?