Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, individuals survive longer than in the past. Certain people are of the opinion that the older
population
creates more
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
for the
government
.
Although
the maintenance of an ageing
population
needs a huge amount of
money
from the
government
for their survival, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because they help them nurture our
society
's
new-born
Correct your spelling
newborn
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babies. The main drawback of
this
trend is that they require a huge sum of
money
for their survival from the
government
.
This
is to say that the geriatric
population
needs more
money
for their daily lifestyle in their homes;
this
amount comes from
government
funds, which have been collected from taxes on adult services.
Therefore
,
this
process creates economic pressure on the
government
.
For example
, Canada has the highest number of older citizens; their
government
spends 100 crores per year on
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
food, shelter, medicine, and clothing, which leads to a huge economic loss.
However
, I believe that the older
population
should have sufficient savings for their future survival and not depend on
government
funds. The main advantage of
this
trend is that the ageing
population
can help nurture the newborn baby in their
society
. To explain, nowadays couples are so busy with their tight professional lives that they do not have the time and skills to look after their newborn;
therefore
, they take help from their grandparents for their upbringing.
Subsequently
, grandparents teach their grandchildren the right manners, culture, and traditions.
For example
, in India , the majority of newlywed parents are taking guidance from their grandparents on how to take care of their newborn babies because they are busy at their offices.
Therefore
, in my opinion, I believe that the ageing
population
in
society
has more benefits for individuals;
thus
, the advantages outnumber the disadvantages. In conclusion, despite the disadvantage of more
money
required for their maintenance, I believe that the
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
generation brings more benefits to
society
as they take responsibility for
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
new-born
Change preposition
of new-born
show examples
babies.
Submitted by Shrabani Banerjee on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect or idea related to the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.
task achievement
Provide more examples or evidence to support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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