Modern children are suffering from diseases that were once considered only meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

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At
this
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time,
children
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are suffering from diseases that used to be
adult’s
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adult

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illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses

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. One of the most
diseases
Correct word choice
common diseases

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is
obesity
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which

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attack
Verb problem
affects

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children
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. In
this
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essay, I will explain more about the causes and the solutions
about
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to

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this
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problem.
Firstly
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,
children
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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like to eat more
ultra processed
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ultra-processed

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foods
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. It includes junk food that
have
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has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject junk food. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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been growing in recent years and
easy
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is easy

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to find. Most
children
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like to consume
ultra processed
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ultra-processed

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foods
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because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

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taste and simplicity. The lack of knowledge about
this
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effect on
health
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issues
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

make
Change the verb form
makes

The plural verb make does not appear to agree with the singular subject lack. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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them
to
Change the verb form
apply

It appears that the verb to consume should be in the bare infinitive form. Consider removing to from in front of this verb.

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consume it daily.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

condition causes an unhealthy lifestyle and
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects

It seems that the verb affect does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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their
health
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into
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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obesity
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
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, a survey by World
Health
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Organization shows that 65%
people
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of people

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with
obesity
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are caused by the consumption of
ultra processed
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ultra-processed

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foods
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
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, there are several solutions we can adopt to prevent
obesity
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in
children
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. First of all, parents should make rules about what their child consume
such
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as
limitation
Correct article usage
the limitation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to
eat
Wrong verb form
eating

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb eat. Consider changing it.

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junk food or other
ultra processed
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ultra-processed

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foods
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. Parents can
also
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educate their
children
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to eat healthy food and make
this
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as
Correct your spelling
a

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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habit
to
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it can lead to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy

The noun phrase healthy lifestyle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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lifestyle.
Furthermore
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,
by
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with

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the
Correct article usage
apply

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support from parents,
children
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will be happier In conclusion,
health
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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especially
obesity
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has
Wrong verb form
have had

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb has. Consider changing it.

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a big impact
in
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on

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children
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’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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recently
or
Correct word choice
and

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even in the future. It’s not only affect
health
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issues but
also
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other aspects
in
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of

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life.
Nevertheless
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, if people can take action to prevent
this
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problem, they still have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance

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to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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obesity
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

among
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Prevalent
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Comfort eating
  • Screen time
  • Physical education
  • Nutritional education
  • Economic disparities
  • Food deserts
  • Subsidize
  • Advertising
  • Weight management
  • Junk food
  • Healthy food options
  • Physical activity
  • Body image
  • Counseling
  • Consumer education
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