In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this us and what can be done about it?

#countries #level #crime #crimes

Nowadays, we are witnessing various new aggressive aspects of human

behavior

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behaviour

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, which are becoming more violent. Many mental disorders and problems can lead

individuals

to commit crimes. In

this

essay, I will discuss some reasons for

this

phenomenon and propose potential solutions.

Individuals

possess distinct characteristics that shape their

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

. Currently, people face a range of issues that can drive them towards a life of crime.

For example

, scientific research has revealed the existence of an antisocial gene, which can nurture psychopathic tendencies in

otherwise

normal

individuals

This

type of personality is widely recognized as a disturbance, as it significantly increases the likelihood of violating laws.

However

, there is not sufficient evidence to suggest that

this

phenomenon is solely a product of the present time or a result of human genetic motivation.

Nonetheless

, it can be considered a significant contributing factor. In my opinion, addressing

this

issue is not easy, as it is deeply rooted.

Nevertheless

, with special treatment,

individuals

with

such

tendencies can learn to control their impulses towards violence. Another factor worth mentioning is the prevalence of dominant personalities, which empower

individuals

to behave aggressively and disregard rules.

This

leads to chaos and criminal actions. It is the responsibility of the government to enforce strict legislation and impose severe punishments in order to regulate the situation.

Additionally

, in my view, easy access to dangerous weapons plays a significant role in increasing the crime rate, including murder, assaults, and robberies. In conclusion, as the world progresses and people discover more convenient ways of living, impulsive and selfish desires

also

grow rapidly, resulting in destructive consequences

such

as offensive crimes and an increase in criminal activities.

Submitted by reihanetorfe on Tue Oct 03 2023

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task response

Your essay provides a good structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well-supported within the essay, but try to ensure that your examples are more relevant to the discussion. Additionally, make sure that your treatment of the topic fully addresses all aspects of the question.

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows good logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, some parts of the essay may benefit from greater coherence and cohesion. Linking words and phrases can help to improve the flow of your argument and make the connections between your ideas clearer.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
violent crimes
socioeconomic factors
law enforcement
technology
education
employment
drug abuse
alcohol abuse
poverty
inequality
effectiveness
investing
job creation
social support
community engagement

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Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

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