Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose #museum

These days, museums are built in every big city and Many

arts

in the past and the present are shown. Many

people

believe that

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

should be the place we go to enjoy

while

some

people

think it is the place for learning. It is argued about the goal of visiting

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

. We will discuss two opinions in

following

Correct article usage

the following

show examples

paragraphs.

To begin

with the start of building

museum

, they

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

built

for

Change preposition

show examples

collect

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

in one room and they up their size bigger until today. There are a lot of

history

Replace the word

historical

show examples

pictures in many

era

Change to a plural noun

eras

show examples

as well

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they have descriptions near the picture to read and learn. Each

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

piece of art

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

drawn

Change preposition

with

show examples

different techniques, artists should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

learn about them to improve their drawing skills.

However

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

much

knowledge

Change preposition

of knowledge

show examples

to learn

Change preposition

apply

show examples

there but some

people

just enjoy

Change the form of the verb

going

show examples

to only watch it, it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

feel good when they

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

looking at a beautiful picture.

Change preposition

show examples

difficult

day

Fix the agreement mistake

days

show examples

, we can go to

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

and we can see they make us feel better. We can go to take a picture of

people

and art

for feeling

Change preposition

to feel

show examples

free.

Moreover

, there are shops for

sell

Replace the word

selling

show examples

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

, many

people

want to buy them for their

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

. In conclusion, many

people

is argue

Change the verb form

argue

show examples

that the purpose to go art park,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is argued that they for enjoy or learn. I agree with the

people

who think

art

Correct article usage

the art

show examples

park is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place for entertainment. We go

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

there and watch pictures to make us feel calm.

Submitted by pramai177 on Tue Oct 03 2023

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task response

Ensure that the arguments are developed with clear reasoning and relevant examples

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing ideas in a coherent manner to improve the overall flow of the essay

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more varied expressions to enhance the essay

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and use a wider range of sentence structures

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Statement of purpose for PhD application at the University of Maryland.

Some people think children should attend extra classes after school, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that robots are very important for human future development. Others argue that the invention of robots has negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.