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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people of one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting the main features and comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people of one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting the main features and comparisons where relevant.
#show #methods #transportation #people #university #work #study #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart
present
Replace the word
presents
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 to us the main ways of transportation for humans of one university for their job or study between 2004 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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all
transports percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
transport percentages
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 except
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased even a bit. As you can see the most noticeable changes have
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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. In 2009 people drivers decreased
as
Change preposition
by as
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 much as half,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
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 men or women
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 travel by bus almost increased
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
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 of their first percentage. As
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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car users decreased as other transport users increased.
For instance
Linking Words
,
bycicle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
 riders almost doubled in
subsequent
Correct article usage
the subsequent
show examples
 5 years. Or just walking and
train
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
also
Linking Words
 rose two and one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively. Getting back to all
mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
 we can deduce that at least people living healthy life
according to
Linking Words
 a
climbed
Replace the word
climb
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up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage of
bycicle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
 and walking.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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